Where To Begin?

So many topics to potentially discuss. Let's get the obvious one out of the way, shall we:

1. I'm moving to D.C.! The time has come, the grand curtain has fallen on this crazy California experiment of mine. It has been a great 7 years on the west coast, no doubt, but for a wide variety of reasons, it's time to wrap it up.

The nuts and bolts, FAQ, quick factoid summary is this: I don't have a job in DC yet, but have several strong leads and will be blasting my super impressive resume to everybody who's ever even HEARD of a lawyer in that town.

I am leaving California the last week of October, and hope to return in 4-5 days. It's a bit of a drive which I am currently doing by myself, but am entertaining the possibility of having some peeps join me during portions of the trip. It is kind of long and boring to ask any one of you to do the whole thing, but if anyone wants to fly to SF to start it off, and then fly back from Denver or somewhere else in the middle, email me. We'll talk.

I will miss California. Quite a bit. But it's just a state with fairly nice weather, and the people I care about (non-professionally) are elsewhere.

California To-Do
Quit my job
Quit my apartment
Sell my furniture
Go to Muir Woods and/or the Headlands once more
Finish potential tattoo design
Lunches with my Bay Area peeps
Salvation Army a ton of clothes
Plot a route, with stopping points
Forward my mail

What did I forget?

2. The Tigers make me so, so very sad. Everyone keeps saying they fought a good fight last night, and while it's true -- it was, objectively and subjectively, a great game -- it ignores the fact that the game never should have been played. The Tigers had a small but solid lock on the division title, and all they had to do was play barely passable .500 ball for the last few weeks. Instead, they got swept by the lowly Royals, and a week after that lost their series matchups against the Royals again, Minnesota, and Chicago--three teams that they are supposed to beat routinely.

Leyland says "we have nobody to blame but ourselves." No shit sherlock, you guys suck. Nobody in the history of baseball has imploded this badly at the end of the season. I mean, you can argue that it's fine because they clearly would have been outclassed during the playoffs, but geez. Unless the Twins go to the Series this year, you can't even argue that this entire season hasn't been a complete waste.

3. I had a rant about Letterman but the Tigers pissed me off again, so I forgot. I think it was basically: we don't know any of the details of his relationship, except that the chick was younger and worked for him. While this is bad for HR purposes, the moral reprehensibility is undetermined. We don't know anything about the nature of this relationship, and to assume that he was praying on a poor defenseless (female) staffer is rather sexist. They are both adults, as far as we know, and it is rampant speculation to assume that she was a) trying to sleep her way to success, or b) the victim of unwanted sexual advances by a powerful superior.

We have nothing to suggest either is true. It's really just a private matter between the parties involved and their spouses. I can appreciate that it "draws attention" to workplace inequity, but only because these are coworkers that had a relationship. Not because of the inequity, which is only suggested.

I guess I remembered more than I thought. It bugs me when people assume that women are being preyed upon simply because they have sex with someone that isn't their professional equal. When men do that, nobody bats an eye. It's unfair and inherently sexist.

So Much! Too Much?

Man, I step away for a minute and like, 15 different things happen. Let's get into it.

The King of Pop is dead. Long live the King? There is much gnashing of teeth and hand-wringing about how to "celebrate" the life of such screwball. On the one hand, he made some great music. This is an area in which if you disagree, you are Wrong. Sorry, but while you don't have to like the music (that's called taste) you have to appreciate what MJ put together. I can only somewhat recall, because I was so young, the fervor with which 80s-era kids loved the man. But some of those songs are eternal.

But, he was a whacko. Ultimately, I have no problem expressing remorse at his passing because, despite the messed up life he was leading, death is it. It closes the door on any redemption or the possibility of a turn-around. MJ will never call a press conference and say, "Jesus, I was pretty messed up, wasn't I? I apologize to my fans for so much screwy behavior." And even if such a statement was super unlikely, I can mourn for the lost opportunity. It is a bummer.

Senator Stuart Smalley. Not too much to say about this because Franken should have had this months and months ago; but I'm glad to see the rule of law win out in an election scenario. Coleman may have been a good man before this mess, but his inability to let it go when absolutely nothing was in his favor has lessened my opinion of him quite a bit. I don't know what kind of senator Franken will be, but it will definitely be interesting. 6 years! And away we go.

True Blood is Entertaining. But it got a lot better after the first few episodes. It's really like an adult-themes Twilight, though, which isn't so hot. Because Twilight is horrifically stupid.* But it's still pretty hokey at times, and the characters are teetering right on the edge of being too stupid for words. If Jason Stackhouse ends up sleeping with the preacher's wife, for example, and without clear explanation how it got to that, I'm gonna be pissed.

There is a piss-poor method of character development that hack writers use to establish that someone is "lusted after" or "sexually adventurous." Basically, you have the character meet the eyes of some hot young woman (it's almost always men that need this development) and then immediately cut to them having sex. Californication does this ALL THE TIME, and it's really, really lame. No explanation of how they got to that point, or the woman's motivations for doing so. It's actually a hugely sexist and misogynistic form of character development that feeds the adolescent male fantasy of being an irresistible sex machine. The women don't matter at all; they're just tools to show that this guy is "totally awesome and the chicks can't stay away!!!"

To be fair, Jason Stackhouse has benefited from better writing during his own escapades. He has only had sex with one random chick that I can recall, and that was because he was high on vampire blood. But the show is dangerously close to the "lusty eyes -> immediate sex" cut in his interactions with the preacher's wife, and it makes me wary. The fact that people are "amazed he didn't screw that Christian singer AND the wife by now" (as mentioned in my office) just shows you how close to ridiculousness his character has been.

*I've been told. Have not yet been so bored that I actually need to read those books.

The Tigers Give Me Ulcers. Jesus they win like, 7 straight and then lose a series to Houston? The ASTROS, Detroit? Come on. They're suffering from the same problems that always plague them: power outages at hitting and unreliable closers. If you include the fact that they've only got 2 or 3 reliable starters (and just one really good and reliable pitcher) it's hard to see how they're even in first in the division.

But, they are. Improbably, amazingly, they are 3.5 games ahead of Chicago. They have a chance to win the series with Oakland today (here, in Oakland) but by all objective measures they probably should have swept the lowly, last-place A's. We'll see. I will try and keep the faith.

Oh but did anyone see that Baltimore-Boston game last night? The O's came back from a 10 to 1 deficit to win! I dislike the Orioles most of the time but that's just impressive, especially against Boston.

Needless Update: Apparently blog posting is a jinx. The Tigers are sucking it up and losing 4-1 in the 6th as I write this. Verlander just gave up a homerun to freakin' Jason Giambi, who is batting .195 this year. Pathetic.

The New Draconian Recycling Plan in My Office. We now have 4 different types of trash. It includes Compost and "E-Waste" but me and my juris doctorate cannot figure out where to put the Starbucks cup. I mean, the top is plastic (Mixed-Recycling) but the cup is paper (Compostable?) but the sleeve is cardboard (Recycling?) and there's a slight bit of food still inside.

Seriously, it could not be harder to decipher if it was written by Soviet-era Russian intelligence. Candy wrappers are "Waste" but waxed cardboard cups are "Compostable" but cardboard is "Recycling". The office needs a recycling czar.

Just Jettison Zumaya

Baseball post incoming. Ignore if you like, there is also some angry ranting.

...

The Tigers have had a "power outage" for a couple series now. They took 3/5 from the White Sox, in Chicago, which is great but given the White Sox inability to do anything right, they should have taken at least 4. Today was the 5th game.

The Tigers, predictably, had little offense and for most of the game were behind zero to two. Zero! Against a mediocre Chicago pitcher! They finally scored one in the last few innings, and then in the top of the 9th, Curtis Granderson hits a home run with a man on base to tie the game (the Sox had scored another, it was 3-1 at the time).

Your regular baseball fan might celebrate this. Your 2009 Tigers fan knows this is a dangerous situation, because now the Tigers have to rely on the bullpen to send the game into extra innings.

I love Jim Leyland (the manager) for what he's done with this team. But sometimes, I cannot fathom his thought process. Today, he decided to put in the utterly useless and almost ALWAYS disastrous Joel Zumaya. Zumaya was on the disabled list for awhile this season, and since returning has shown no ability to work an inning with any semblance of confidence.

He promptly allows two men on, commits a throwing error, and walks the bases loaded with no outs. In the bottom of the 9th. Then, oh so predictably, he gives up the game winning single and that's that.

I know that you have to look at all aspects of the team when assigning blame. The hitting was pathetic today, with only Ryan Raburn providing an RBI against the starting pitcher. Raburn is good but he should not be the go-to guy for hits. Cabrera and Ordonez went hitless. Pathetic against a pitcher with a 5.0+ ERA.

But then, putting in ZUMAYA of all people, to hold the lead? Zumaya needs quite a bit of rehab work first. He needs a 6th, 7th or 8th inning where the Tigers have a 5-0 lead or better. And at this point, I think he needs to get this from another team.

Fernando Rodney's meltdown the other night (he walked the bases loaded, which you really shouldn't do as a closer) has brought the Tigers back to the sad 2008 season, which featured lukewarm hitting and absolutely no reliable closers. Somebody needs to take a hard look and do some housecleaning in the bullpen.

/rant off. It's just so depressing.

And Then I Thought Better Of It.

I was mentally crafting a post in my head about feminism and the pain that seems to exist when a feminist tries to get married. There have been a couple of great articles on the subject online, and it got me thinking.

Then I remember that I know no fewer than 5 women who are getting married in the next 12 months, all of whom probably have strong opinions on various aspects of weddings and who may read my blog. And if I post something with my personal opinion (about things like wearing white, or churches, or married names) it might be taken as a slight against someone who doesn't hold my same opinion.

So ya'll get nothing!

Well, not nothing. I could rant about the Tigers and their inability to beat the lowly Angels (1-2 in the last series), or how they were screwed by having seriously piss-poor scheduling (3 games in a row at 10pm EST, and then they have to go to Kansas the very next day? I call bullshit, Angels. No reason to schedule those games so late.)

Or I could talk about the latest movies I've seen (Pineapple Express - bit of a letdown but funny; Choke - unimpressive but hey, boobs; Aqua Teen Hunger Force - as weird as you'd expect).

Or I could just mention that I have to work on Sunday, in a pathetic attempt to drum up sympathy.

I choose secret option D: Friday afternoon laziness!

72 Hrs.

It's been a busy week, or at least it feels that way. I've had to get up at 6:30 a.m. for 3 days straight (tomorrow will be 4) and it makes the days seem especially packed.

Other notable (and sometimes ignoble) occurrences from the past 72 hours include:

- Virginia Tech winning in the first round of the NIT in double overtime. Go Hokies! I know it's just the NIT, but I'm still proud of any sport Tech excels at that isn't football. I mean, I'm proud of football too but they're supposed to excel in that area.

- But Georgetown lost a pretty tight game, which is a damn shame. Next year, Hoyas.

- On the recommendation of my mother, I've been watching Showtime's The Tudors via Netflix. I'm 6 episodes in, and while it's a pretty entertaining series, it has one fatal flaw: I know what happens already. It's not really the show's fault; if they changed history, it'd be a much bigger problem. But I already know that Henry marries Anne Boleyn, and starts the Church of England, and all that. So I can't be all that effected during tense scenes with Catherine of Aragon. She's out, and she don't even know yet! Anyway, still pretty entertaining.

- NOT ENTERTAINING AT ALL, on the other hand, was Max Payne. Now, I didn't play the video game. And we all know that video game --> movie adaptations do poorly. But my god, this was a piece of crap. It made no sense, the acting was terrible (but hey, shout out to my man Marlo for a tiny role) and it was ridiculously boring for a movie about gunfights and hallucinogenic valkyries.

In fact maybe I'll just write a new movie using that same set-up. I guarantee it would be better. I give it the rarely-used 1 star.

- This weekend, I'm headed down to Big Sur! Although technically, I'm going on Monday, it's all part of my weekend. Mini-vacations are the BEST vacations.

Notes

Whenever people are arguing politics, someone inevitably attempts to argue that a policy or action is okay by noting how "up-in-arms" the other side would be if the roles were reversed.

That is, the argument is not that Policy A is okay, it's that it's "not as bad as when the other side did Policy Z!"

This is dumb. It goes for all ideologies and parties--unless you have a direct 1:1 correspondence in policy, it's a stupid argument to make. It rarely has something to do with the policy, and is really just an ad hominem attack, without a specific... um, hominem.

You CAN make this argument where people are being hypocrites. Flip-flopping on issues and such is a perfectly acceptable target for criticism. But the less similar the situation--and as they become dissimilar, the drop-off is quick--the lamer your argument becomes.

(This is a vague response to the story that Sen. Judd Gregg, Republican, wants a GOP to replace him if he takes the job of Commerce Secretary in Obama's administration; I am not against him, or his demand/request, but I see Democrats saying "He's not allowed to make this demand! Can you imagine how Republicans would howl if a Dem made this demand?!"

Short answer: yes, I can imagine it. I can imagine a unicorn-powered spaceship too, but that's not really the point is it?)

.....

Chicago is a great city. A cold city, to be sure, but a pretty great town overall. I will go back.

.....

People at the Denver International Airport are not fans of the Steelers. I'm not sure they're fans of the Cardinals, but they were super jazzed when Arizona pulled ahead. And super depressed when the Steelers pulled out a win. That was a helluva 4th quarter, man. I'm glad my layover allowed me to see it.

.....

Today UPS delivered a package that was literally mailed LAST YEAR. Good work UPS. Way to keep up the quality of service in these demanding economic times.

Sports Make Me Sad

It is a time of transition in the sports world, with the baseball season winding down (or up, if your team made the playoffs) and the football season off to a running start.

But it's a sad time to be a Detroit fan. The Tigers had so much promise this year, and are finishing last in their division. They made a go of it for a few weeks here and there, but were hampered by extraordinarily poor pitching (which was, let's be honest, not helped by and abundance of injuries). It's a bummer but the Tigers still have so much talent that with some good off-season training and acquisitions, they have a great chance next season.

The same cannot be said for the lowly Lions, who are so bad that they've fired general manager Matt Millen, who probably should have been fired 7 years ago. But firing is not a solution, it merely creates a vacancy that the 0-3 Lions must now fill a quarter of the way into the season. It is a monumentally daunting task, because the new GM won't have the ability to cause any immediate change--better drafts, better trades, and better players are needed for that. I don't envy the shmuck who gets that job.

On the upside, basketball and hockey are starting fairly soon, and Detroit still knows how to flirt with greatness when it comes to its arena-based sports. The Red Wings are always great, and the Pistons are one of the best teams out there. It's really a shame that I prefer baseball and football, but at least it's something to root for.

In non-professional news, Virginia Tech beat Nebraska this weekend, which was unexpected but a nice surprise. Nebraska isn't ranked this year, but they're still Nebraska, so good on the Hokies for kicking butt. Tech is now ranked 20th, which means of course that they'll win a few more, get to about 14th or 13th, and flame out spectacularly. I mean, if previous seasons are any indication. God bless 'em.

Olympic Rant

Oh come on, you knew I was going to get around to this eventually.

The Olympics are here. In full, soft-focus, sad sack, triumph over the adversity of having a semi-uncomfortable childhood, glory. It's a bit cliched at this point to take offense at the truly insipid back stories that NBC insists on running (Peacock: I DO NOT CARE ABOUT THE VOLLEYBALL PLAYER'S WEDDING RING) so I'll just let others take that topic on.

And honestly, you can't offends tens of... well tens of people with such lukewarm antagonism. People who live for those vignettes are idiots; most of us tolerate them and once in a blue moon find something interesting. So instead, I present:

What's the Big Deal Anyway With Like, 80% of These Sports?

Here's the thing. I admire when a person devotes their life (and at this level, it really is a devotion of that caliber) to a single achievement. Even when that achievement is sort of lame, in the context of all of humanity's endeavors. I speak largely of things like synchronized diving and the equestrian sports, but this is actually applicable to almost all sports. I have to ask: so what?

Now is when I backpedal to say, of course participation and excellence in these areas are noteworthy, to a degree. I would not say for a second that I could ever match the skill that the synchro divers exhibit, even with the same amount of training. There is an inherent talent that I do not suppose I have.

But that being said, just because a group of people devote themselves to doing something, and at some point they compete and one becomes the best at that thing, it doesn't necessarily mean they have reached the pinnacle of human possibility. The Games are rife with such statements, announcers noting that, "we are witnessing the best of the best in all the world," and so forth.

To me, the most interesting Olympic sports are those that are more pure. Running, for example. You can be the Fastest Man/Woman Alive at the Olympics--and we all run. In my mind, running is pure and straightforward and not all frill'd up with shuttlecocks and horses and epees. Swimming is similar, except that there are a bunch of different types and that seems a little silly. Freestyle is the fastest (when comparing world-records) so I like that one best. The fastest human in the world, in the water, is some Australian or Michael Phelps, depending on which race you gauge speed with.

Keep in mind, this is coming from a guy who loves rowing, and thinks that those who row crew in the Olympics are amazing athletes. But technology adds something to the sport that keeps me from saying they are "pinnacles".

I won't even get started on sports that require judges to give scores. How do you "win" the pommel-horse?

This is (as titled) a rant, but it's not meant to be overly spiteful. I applaud everybody who achieves. But for me, the best part of the Olympics are the sports that you can do naked.

This Makes Up For It

Last year at this time, I was proud that the Tigers even made it to the playoffs. Sadly, their September meltdown was insurmountable this time, and they have to sit October out.

It does not bother me because I'm not a crazy person, like, say, Yankees fans. Yankees fans seem to think it is their birthright to have a team in the post-season.

And that is why I was particularly thrilled last night.

Not only because the Yanks are done--though that is about 75% of the reason--but because it was, again, an AL Central team that took them out. You all DO remember last year's Yankee-destroying AL Central team, right? Right?

Now, I return to my default position: hoping the Red Sox win so that my good friend Adam does not have a stroke.

It's Not Like Anyone Wants to Broadcast the Detroit Lions, Anyhow

Ah, copyright; my first legal love. Great story on Ars Technica yesterday about how the NFL's lawyers sent a cease-and-desist to probably the worst possible target: a law professor and staff attorney for EFF.

The NFL, as any football fan knows, is a big fan of telling people that their telecast is copyrighted and that pictures, descriptions, or accounts of the game are prohibited if done without the NFL's permission.

Any 1st year law student can tell you the NFL is full of crap. You know, legally speaking. Their broadcast is copyrighted; accounts of a football game are facts and you can't stop someone from giving an account of anything. Same goes for descriptions. If I "describe" the movie 300 on my blog, the producers can't sue me for copyright infringement. Pictures are a bit murkier; if you take a picture at a game, it's probably yours, but the uniforms and logos are all trademarked so you probably can't go around selling it. The NFL is tough that way.

None of this matters to fair use, though, which allows small excerpts of ANY copyrighted material, if done for specific uses (like education; professors of law easily fall into this category).

One of the reasons I've been interested in copyright is because I believe that copyright holders--especially monolithic entities like the NFL, Disney, or Viacom--are almost criminal in their misuse of copyright law to strong-arm content users into stopping what is actually perfectly legal "fair use" of a copyrighted work.

And that's why this is so perfect; I hope that Seltzer (the professor, if you didn't click the link) pushes them all the way to court on this one. My real motive: the NFL stopped using a 4-second clip of Barry Sanders during their copyright spiel, and since he's one of the greatest runningbacks to play the game, I feel their copyright message no longer has any meaning.

No, that doesn't make sense. But it was Barry!

Cubs Tigers Win! Cubs Tigers Win!

Hey GOP, here's your "October surprise". The Tigers took the Yankees in 4!

So this is what it's like to be truly proud of one's chosen team. Next up is the A's, and I'm actually gonna try and see about some tickets, since I live here. But even if they go 4 and out, they beat the NY Yankees.

My semi-atheistic worldview has been challenged.

Ha! Ha! Ha!

Holy christ they might actually win this thing.

I'm shocked and elated. As a long-standing Tigers fan (15+ years) I'm not sure exactly how I'm supposed to react to... what's the word... "success". But here we are, 1 game away from beating the New York Goddamn Yankees in the playoffs.

"I feel so full of... what's the opposite of shame?
Pride?
No, not that far from shame.
Less shame?
Yeah!"

*Please note: eventually I will stop writing useless little posts about baseball. I swear. This is just so weird for me.

Ha!

Take that, you sweep-predicting jerks.

If I had money to bet, I wouldn't put it on the Tigers to win the World Series. The "new organization" is too young. But they certainly show promise, and by God I do hate the Yankees.