Real Old Testament, Wrath-of-God Type Meme

You know what? I don't think I ever posted this, for whatever reason. Revived from the dead, it's... this thing!

ANGER

1. Who did you last get angry with?
My non-boss, because I did what my real boss wanted and pissed him off. Sometimes my job sucks.

2. What is your weapon of choice?
Sulking. But, you know, manly sulking. Lots of steely looks and narrowing of the eyes.

3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
Only in a life-or-death situation, maybe. My momma didn’t raise me to beat on no wimmins.

4. How about of the same sex?
Sure. I try not to. But I’m not a pacifist, I’m just not in punching situations very often. I consider that a good thing.

5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
It depends on what you mean by "really angry". Now that I'm not in a relationship, it doesn't happen too often.

6. What is your pet peeve?
Inattention. Pay attention for god’s sake.

7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
If it’s minor I don’t. If it’s major it’s not a grudge, the person is no good and I will disassociate myself. That’s not holding a grudge, in my book.

SLOTH

1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a while?
Floss. I hate it.

2. What is the latest you've ever woken up?
I don’t know, 2 p.m. maybe? It was during college I’m sure. After a point “late” and “early” sort of switch spots.

3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't:
A couple people from law school, perhaps. Otherwise I feel like my friends are around if I need them or they need me.

4. What is the last lame excuse you made?
I called in sick today! But I'm only under the weather, not disaster-sick. That's not very lame. Sorry.

5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones...)?
I used to watch the “AM Gold” Time/Life commercials for music, to get ideas about what I wanted to steal from the Internet.

6. When was the last time you got a good workout in?
About 10 days ago. I am currently recovering from a minor workout-related injury and thus not running until back to 100%.

7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?
5 or 6 times, but I knew I wasn't going anywhere today. Sick day!

GLUTTONY

1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
I buy those Chai Tea Lattes too often. $3.80 a pop! Some unborn child of mine will be going to Devry because of this habit.

2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat?
As long as it’s cooked, I don’t really care. Though I guess white, in a pinch.

3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
I’m not a superdrinker or anything. Probably 5 or 6 pints of beer. It’s a lot, for me.

4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?
What, like Jenny Craig? Of course not.

5. Do you have an issue with your weight?
"Issue" is a bit melodramatic, but I still need to lose about 10 pounds.

6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?
Sweets.

7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought, "LUNCH?"
Hah, okay. Somebody couldn’t think of a 7th question?

LUST

1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?
I’m assuming this also means opposite sex (i.e. locker rooms do not count), and any degree of nudity (boobs or more) so… lemme think on that for a moment. Crap I forgot about strippers. I’m going to have to ballpark it to around 25 people.

2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)?
A lot less than the above number. Less than 10, I suppose.

3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation?
I’m a guy. Of course I have.

4. Have you "done it"?
This is classic. No, but I assume by “it” you mean “shot someone in with a telescopic rifle from more than 300 yards away”.

5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?
Neck. If we’re not being obvious and saying like, boobs.

6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
Not to my knowledge. I’ve never waited so long that she had to ask me. Hiyo!

7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy?
No, I’ve never “had” to get tested. But I have been.

GREED

1. How many credit cards do you own?
Straight-out credit cards? Technically one, but I don’t know how to make it work (my debit card has “credit” somehow). So for all practical purposes, zero. It’s how I roll.

2. What's your guilty pleasure store?
Best Buy. But don’t by peripheral cables there, man.

3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?
Pay off a bunch of stuff, and then a bunch of stuff owed by people I like. Then probably put it in some low-yield investment account.

4. Would you rather be rich, or famous?
Rich. Then if I wanted to be famous, I could probably make it happen. But fame without wealth means you’re either incredibly smart or ambitious, or you’re a bank robber.

5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?
It depends on how long I’d have to keep it. Right now, yes, I probably would.

6. Have you ever stolen anything?
Online music. And a couple movies. And the hearts of a nation.

7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?
About 2,000. I recently housecleaned my computer, though, and lost a few hundred in the process.

PRIDE

1. What's one thing have you done that you're most proud of?
Identified badly-written meme questions. Oh look, I’ve done it again!

2. What's one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?
Probably going to law school. Though I bet “not asking them for money anymore” is a close second.

3. What's one thing would you like to accomplish in your life?
Right now I’d like to accomplish a mostly-debt-free existence.

4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
It depends. Is it a competition of many, or just 2? Because I don’t like losing, but I don’t mind being at the top of the heap (even if not first place).

5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
Like when I play cards with 5-year-old cousins? Sure. But with adults? I don’t think I’ve ever known for sure that I was gonna whup ass on everybody.

6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?
Yep. But more elaboration, you do not get. It wasn’t the California Bar or anything.

7. What did you do today that you're proud of?
Not a damn thing. Though even if I weren't home today, my workload doesn't have anything pride-worthy. Just mundane this week.

ENVY

1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
Person? What, like somebody’s girlfriend or wife? That's harsh, Internet. I'm good with what I've got, currently.

2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?
I don’t know what that is. Is that where people redecorate other people's houses? I guess I’d want to trade with somebody who has style.

3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?
This is a weird question; if I wouldn’t be me, then what would it matter? And if I would be me, then in many cases (astronaut, pole vaulter, UN Secretary General) I would be unable to do the job, and I would instantly fail and/or die. So I say, me but with about $250k in the bank.

4. Have you ever been cheated on?
Hmm. Maybe, but not by anyone that mattered. At least not to my actual knowledge.

5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
Sure. What am I, a narcissist?

6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
(More) confidence.

7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey?
Not even a little bit.

8. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin?
Lust baby.