...if you actually read all of these. Because I usually don't, though I do end up reading it when I change the answers around to my own. This is courtesy of the wee sister.
1. What time did you get up this morning?
I "got up" at 8 but the alarm went off at 7:30.
2. Diamonds or pearls?
Diamonds, I guess. I'd look silly in pearls.
3. Last movie you saw in the theater?
Also The Dark Knight. Second viewing! Still dark!
4. What is your favorite TV show?
The Office is the best one still running (LOST is a close second), but right now I'm churning through The Wire like a crazy man. It may be the some of the best TV ever.
5. What do you usually have for breakfast
A few swigs of orange juice while taking a vitamin. Later, maybe a granola bar.
6. What is your middle name?
Talullah.
7. What food do you dislike?
I am still not a huge fan of guacamole. Despite living out here.
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment?
I don't have a favorite CD at the moment. iTunes has broken me as far as entire albums are concerned.
9. What kind of car do you drive?
97 Acura but wait, Emily when did you get a new car? The hell?
10. Favorite sandwich?
There is a place I go for lunch that does a pretty good roast beef. But the cheesesteaks from IB's are great too.
11. What characteristics do you despise?
The inability to accept opinions other than your own.
12. Favorite item of clothing?
Jeans. I don't get to wear 'em so much anymore.
13. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?
Australia still tops that list. But followed closely by Europe, and Fiji.
14. What color is your bathroom?
Ugh, I think it's probably "salmon" but I've also been informed it's just pink.
15. Favorite brand of clothing?
I don't have a favorite brand, so much. I got a suit from Banana Republic a month ago and I like it. But I am not necessarily a BR kind of guy.
16. Where would you retire?
Somewhere smaller than where I lived. Not a city.
17. Most memorable birthday?
I think 21 is still the weirdest. I was snowed in at the Detroit airport, but then a few days later some friends threw me a surprise party.
18. Favorite sport to watch?
Football and baseball are probably tops. Not so much college anything.
19. Furthest place you are sending this?
INFINITY. It's the Internet.
20. Who do you expect to send this back to you?
Since I've turned it into a black hole by blog posting, nobody.
21. Person you expect to send it back first?
Seriously, let it go.
22. Favorite saying?
I have started saying "right on". I also say "fair enough" a lot. These are not necessarily favorite sayings, but I am capable of recognizing things I say too much.
23. When is your birthday?
January.
24. Are you a morning person or a night person?
I am a late-night person. But I don't mind the morning as much as I used to.
25. What is your shoe size?
11.5 and what kind of silly question is that?
26. Pets?
None at the moment. I am friends with some very nice cats though...
27. What did you want to be when you were little?
A scientist. I didn't differentiate between the fields, but "a guy doing science" seemed pretty good to me. Or Spider-Man.
28. What are you today?
Attorney. It is not sciencey. Pays the bills for now though. (Excuse the lack of excitement but my job has been wretched these last few days)
29. What is your favorite candy?
Chocolate. Dark chocolate, milk chocolate, chocolate chip cookies, etc.
30. Your favorite flower?
I don't really have a favorite flower. That's not a macho front, I've just never given them much consideration. Daisies seem nice. They're simple but pretty.
31. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to?
It was next Wednesday (mini-vacation) but now I'm not sure because work has punched me in the face.
32. What are you listening to right now?
The gentle drone of the office. Somebody is talking about fantasy football. Again.
33. What was the last thing you ate?
Ate? That'd be chocolate chip cookies, last night. Unless the morning vitamin counts.
34. Do you wish on stars?
Nope. I just wish.
35. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
I have no basis for answering this question. My favorite color is green.
36. What is your pet peeve?
Not being called/emailed back, at least once. I get that people (including me) don't want to have constant back and forths, but one reply will not kill you.
37. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
Secretary for defense counsel, who was confirming a deposition.
38. Do you like the person/people you are sending this to?
Not necessarily, I don't know who will read this. Actually, since it's my blog, it's probable that I like them all.
39. Favorite soft drink?
I don't drink 'em anymore! But if I did, it's Coke.
40. Favorite restaurant?
Geez, I'm not sure. I was finally introduced to Zachary's Pizza a few weeks back, and that was pretty amazing.
41. Hair Color?
My hair, she is brown, senor.
42. Favorite holiday of the year?
Christmas is really the only holiday that I always celebrate, year after year.
43. What was your favorite toy as a child?
My transformers. I had that big turns-into-a-base guy, Fortress Maximus. I was super jazzed to own that.
44. Summer or winter?
Summer. It has so much possibility.
45. Hugs or kisses?
I don't understand the question.
46. Chocolate or vanilla?
Chocolate.
47. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back?
No, that would be weird. I will read any that post this though.
(Note: I laughed out loud when I read Emily's response: "Sure! I would love to know if my brother likes hugs or kisses!" Sucker!)
48. When was the last time you cried?
Embarrassingly, I teared up a little when watching a video a blogger put up of her 3-year-old son. I know, what the hell. So I punched a mountain lion and felt better.
49. What is under your bed?
No idea. Probably something useful that I've forgotten about.
51. What did you do last night? Worked till 8, then watched a couple episodes of that show Bones, which I don't usually watch but I didn't want to get invested in The Wire. I went to bed at 10 but ended up reading for two hours.
52. Favorite smell?
Still that girly-soap smell. Or maybe it's perfume. I'm not sure, but it comes from chicks.
53. What are you afraid of?
Not appreciating life until it's just about over.
54. How many keys on your key ring?
Seven. Two home, two work, one car, one mail, and one for The Club.
55. How many years at your current job?
One and a half at my current employer. About two doing what I do. Tighten up your language, survey!
56. Favorite day of the week?
I have a love/hate relationship with Friday, so actually Thursday may be best. Friday hasn't turned out to be a bust yet, and The Office is on. Usually.
57. How many states have you lived in?
Three, since we don't count the District of Columbia as a state.
58. Do you make friends easily? I'm not sure. Not easily, and not immediately, but I grow on people like you wouldn't believe.
That's the last question? Kind of anti-climactic.
Showing posts with label memes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memes. Show all posts
August 28, 2008
August 5, 2008
Real Old Testament, Wrath-of-God Type Meme
You know what? I don't think I ever posted this, for whatever reason. Revived from the dead, it's... this thing!
ANGER
1. Who did you last get angry with?
My non-boss, because I did what my real boss wanted and pissed him off. Sometimes my job sucks.
2. What is your weapon of choice?
Sulking. But, you know, manly sulking. Lots of steely looks and narrowing of the eyes.
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
Only in a life-or-death situation, maybe. My momma didn’t raise me to beat on no wimmins.
4. How about of the same sex?
Sure. I try not to. But I’m not a pacifist, I’m just not in punching situations very often. I consider that a good thing.
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
It depends on what you mean by "really angry". Now that I'm not in a relationship, it doesn't happen too often.
6. What is your pet peeve?
Inattention. Pay attention for god’s sake.
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
If it’s minor I don’t. If it’s major it’s not a grudge, the person is no good and I will disassociate myself. That’s not holding a grudge, in my book.
SLOTH
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a while?
Floss. I hate it.
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up?
I don’t know, 2 p.m. maybe? It was during college I’m sure. After a point “late” and “early” sort of switch spots.
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't:
A couple people from law school, perhaps. Otherwise I feel like my friends are around if I need them or they need me.
4. What is the last lame excuse you made?
I called in sick today! But I'm only under the weather, not disaster-sick. That's not very lame. Sorry.
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones...)?
I used to watch the “AM Gold” Time/Life commercials for music, to get ideas about what I wanted to steal from the Internet.
6. When was the last time you got a good workout in?
About 10 days ago. I am currently recovering from a minor workout-related injury and thus not running until back to 100%.
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?
5 or 6 times, but I knew I wasn't going anywhere today. Sick day!
GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
I buy those Chai Tea Lattes too often. $3.80 a pop! Some unborn child of mine will be going to Devry because of this habit.
2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat?
As long as it’s cooked, I don’t really care. Though I guess white, in a pinch.
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
I’m not a superdrinker or anything. Probably 5 or 6 pints of beer. It’s a lot, for me.
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?
What, like Jenny Craig? Of course not.
5. Do you have an issue with your weight?
"Issue" is a bit melodramatic, but I still need to lose about 10 pounds.
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?
Sweets.
7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought, "LUNCH?"
Hah, okay. Somebody couldn’t think of a 7th question?
LUST
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?
I’m assuming this also means opposite sex (i.e. locker rooms do not count), and any degree of nudity (boobs or more) so… lemme think on that for a moment. Crap I forgot about strippers. I’m going to have to ballpark it to around 25 people.
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)?
A lot less than the above number. Less than 10, I suppose.
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation?
I’m a guy. Of course I have.
4. Have you "done it"?
This is classic. No, but I assume by “it” you mean “shot someone in with a telescopic rifle from more than 300 yards away”.
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?
Neck. If we’re not being obvious and saying like, boobs.
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
Not to my knowledge. I’ve never waited so long that she had to ask me. Hiyo!
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy?
No, I’ve never “had” to get tested. But I have been.
GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own?
Straight-out credit cards? Technically one, but I don’t know how to make it work (my debit card has “credit” somehow). So for all practical purposes, zero. It’s how I roll.
2. What's your guilty pleasure store?
Best Buy. But don’t by peripheral cables there, man.
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?
Pay off a bunch of stuff, and then a bunch of stuff owed by people I like. Then probably put it in some low-yield investment account.
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous?
Rich. Then if I wanted to be famous, I could probably make it happen. But fame without wealth means you’re either incredibly smart or ambitious, or you’re a bank robber.
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?
It depends on how long I’d have to keep it. Right now, yes, I probably would.
6. Have you ever stolen anything?
Online music. And a couple movies. And the hearts of a nation.
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?
About 2,000. I recently housecleaned my computer, though, and lost a few hundred in the process.
PRIDE
1. What's one thing have you done that you're most proud of?
Identified badly-written meme questions. Oh look, I’ve done it again!
2. What's one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?
Probably going to law school. Though I bet “not asking them for money anymore” is a close second.
3. What's one thing would you like to accomplish in your life?
Right now I’d like to accomplish a mostly-debt-free existence.
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
It depends. Is it a competition of many, or just 2? Because I don’t like losing, but I don’t mind being at the top of the heap (even if not first place).
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
Like when I play cards with 5-year-old cousins? Sure. But with adults? I don’t think I’ve ever known for sure that I was gonna whup ass on everybody.
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?
Yep. But more elaboration, you do not get. It wasn’t the California Bar or anything.
7. What did you do today that you're proud of?
Not a damn thing. Though even if I weren't home today, my workload doesn't have anything pride-worthy. Just mundane this week.
ENVY
1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
Person? What, like somebody’s girlfriend or wife? That's harsh, Internet. I'm good with what I've got, currently.
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?
I don’t know what that is. Is that where people redecorate other people's houses? I guess I’d want to trade with somebody who has style.
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?
This is a weird question; if I wouldn’t be me, then what would it matter? And if I would be me, then in many cases (astronaut, pole vaulter, UN Secretary General) I would be unable to do the job, and I would instantly fail and/or die. So I say, me but with about $250k in the bank.
4. Have you ever been cheated on?
Hmm. Maybe, but not by anyone that mattered. At least not to my actual knowledge.
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
Sure. What am I, a narcissist?
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
(More) confidence.
7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey?
Not even a little bit.
8. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin?
Lust baby.
ANGER
1. Who did you last get angry with?
My non-boss, because I did what my real boss wanted and pissed him off. Sometimes my job sucks.
2. What is your weapon of choice?
Sulking. But, you know, manly sulking. Lots of steely looks and narrowing of the eyes.
3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
Only in a life-or-death situation, maybe. My momma didn’t raise me to beat on no wimmins.
4. How about of the same sex?
Sure. I try not to. But I’m not a pacifist, I’m just not in punching situations very often. I consider that a good thing.
5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
It depends on what you mean by "really angry". Now that I'm not in a relationship, it doesn't happen too often.
6. What is your pet peeve?
Inattention. Pay attention for god’s sake.
7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
If it’s minor I don’t. If it’s major it’s not a grudge, the person is no good and I will disassociate myself. That’s not holding a grudge, in my book.
SLOTH
1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a while?
Floss. I hate it.
2. What is the latest you've ever woken up?
I don’t know, 2 p.m. maybe? It was during college I’m sure. After a point “late” and “early” sort of switch spots.
3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't:
A couple people from law school, perhaps. Otherwise I feel like my friends are around if I need them or they need me.
4. What is the last lame excuse you made?
I called in sick today! But I'm only under the weather, not disaster-sick. That's not very lame. Sorry.
5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through (one of the long ones...)?
I used to watch the “AM Gold” Time/Life commercials for music, to get ideas about what I wanted to steal from the Internet.
6. When was the last time you got a good workout in?
About 10 days ago. I am currently recovering from a minor workout-related injury and thus not running until back to 100%.
7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?
5 or 6 times, but I knew I wasn't going anywhere today. Sick day!
GLUTTONY
1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
I buy those Chai Tea Lattes too often. $3.80 a pop! Some unborn child of mine will be going to Devry because of this habit.
2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat?
As long as it’s cooked, I don’t really care. Though I guess white, in a pinch.
3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
I’m not a superdrinker or anything. Probably 5 or 6 pints of beer. It’s a lot, for me.
4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?
What, like Jenny Craig? Of course not.
5. Do you have an issue with your weight?
"Issue" is a bit melodramatic, but I still need to lose about 10 pounds.
6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?
Sweets.
7. Have you ever looked at a small housepet or child and thought, "LUNCH?"
Hah, okay. Somebody couldn’t think of a 7th question?
LUST
1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)?
I’m assuming this also means opposite sex (i.e. locker rooms do not count), and any degree of nudity (boobs or more) so… lemme think on that for a moment. Crap I forgot about strippers. I’m going to have to ballpark it to around 25 people.
2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)?
A lot less than the above number. Less than 10, I suppose.
3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation?
I’m a guy. Of course I have.
4. Have you "done it"?
This is classic. No, but I assume by “it” you mean “shot someone in with a telescopic rifle from more than 300 yards away”.
5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?
Neck. If we’re not being obvious and saying like, boobs.
6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
Not to my knowledge. I’ve never waited so long that she had to ask me. Hiyo!
7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy?
No, I’ve never “had” to get tested. But I have been.
GREED
1. How many credit cards do you own?
Straight-out credit cards? Technically one, but I don’t know how to make it work (my debit card has “credit” somehow). So for all practical purposes, zero. It’s how I roll.
2. What's your guilty pleasure store?
Best Buy. But don’t by peripheral cables there, man.
3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it?
Pay off a bunch of stuff, and then a bunch of stuff owed by people I like. Then probably put it in some low-yield investment account.
4. Would you rather be rich, or famous?
Rich. Then if I wanted to be famous, I could probably make it happen. But fame without wealth means you’re either incredibly smart or ambitious, or you’re a bank robber.
5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?
It depends on how long I’d have to keep it. Right now, yes, I probably would.
6. Have you ever stolen anything?
Online music. And a couple movies. And the hearts of a nation.
7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?
About 2,000. I recently housecleaned my computer, though, and lost a few hundred in the process.
PRIDE
1. What's one thing have you done that you're most proud of?
Identified badly-written meme questions. Oh look, I’ve done it again!
2. What's one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?
Probably going to law school. Though I bet “not asking them for money anymore” is a close second.
3. What's one thing would you like to accomplish in your life?
Right now I’d like to accomplish a mostly-debt-free existence.
4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
It depends. Is it a competition of many, or just 2? Because I don’t like losing, but I don’t mind being at the top of the heap (even if not first place).
5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
Like when I play cards with 5-year-old cousins? Sure. But with adults? I don’t think I’ve ever known for sure that I was gonna whup ass on everybody.
6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?
Yep. But more elaboration, you do not get. It wasn’t the California Bar or anything.
7. What did you do today that you're proud of?
Not a damn thing. Though even if I weren't home today, my workload doesn't have anything pride-worthy. Just mundane this week.
ENVY
1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
Person? What, like somebody’s girlfriend or wife? That's harsh, Internet. I'm good with what I've got, currently.
2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?
I don’t know what that is. Is that where people redecorate other people's houses? I guess I’d want to trade with somebody who has style.
3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?
This is a weird question; if I wouldn’t be me, then what would it matter? And if I would be me, then in many cases (astronaut, pole vaulter, UN Secretary General) I would be unable to do the job, and I would instantly fail and/or die. So I say, me but with about $250k in the bank.
4. Have you ever been cheated on?
Hmm. Maybe, but not by anyone that mattered. At least not to my actual knowledge.
5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
Sure. What am I, a narcissist?
6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
(More) confidence.
7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey?
Not even a little bit.
8. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin?
Lust baby.
February 28, 2008
The Old Standby
I was going to rant about this whole Roger Clemens thing (of course he's guilty, but really Congress? Nothing better to investigate? ARE YOU SURE?) but then I was beat to the punch. She always summarizes far better than I could hope to.
So you get a survey-meme-thing!
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I am about 3 weeks overdue for a haircut.
2. How much cash do you have on you?
$34
3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR?"
Abhor.
4. Favorite planet?
Venus. Who knows what lurks beneath those methane clouds. Venutians, probably!
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
An unknown string of numbers that turned out to be Hilary. Damn Switzerland!
6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
I keep mine silent most of the time. Or on vibrate. Otherwise it plays "London Calling".
7. What shirt are you wearing?
Gray button type. I'm at work.
8. Do you "label" yourself?
What? If I'm asked to, usually I write "Sam".
9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing?
Don't remember. They're on my feet and I'm not taking my shoes off for this.
10. Bright or Dark Room?
Bright right now.
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
I think she's cool. Her bangs are out of control though.
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
I don't really remember, which probably means I had passed out.
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
"Happy Vday LUV u all"
15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
I'm not sure. There's a RiteAid a few blocks away, but I'm downtown.
16. What's a word that you say a lot?
"the"
17.Where would you be if you could be anywhere right now?
I'm actually sort of okay with right here. If I were somewhere else, I'd feel guilty for not being at work.
18. Last furry thing you touched?
Um. I choose not to answer this.
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
I take vitamins every morning... probably some Tylenol on Monday.
20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
Zero!
21. Favorite age you have been so far?
27 was complicated but full of interesting stuff. Since then the complicated has outweighed the interesting.
22. Your worst enemy?
Dr. Demento.
23. What is your current desktop picture?
The "crystal" background that comes with XP.
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"Yeah, it all went out fine."
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
See, if you could fly, I bet you could make a million bucks a few hundred times over. Also, flying would be cool. That's win-win (win), baby.
26. Do you like someone?
I choose to answer Kim's sidenote: it's in every single meme because these are written by people who think "liking someone" is the biggest secret you can have. Oh, and no.
27. The last song you listened to?
Something on the radio last night, but I can't remember what. It may have been BTO.
So you get a survey-meme-thing!
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I am about 3 weeks overdue for a haircut.
2. How much cash do you have on you?
$34
3. What's a word that rhymes with "DOOR?"
Abhor.
4. Favorite planet?
Venus. Who knows what lurks beneath those methane clouds. Venutians, probably!
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
An unknown string of numbers that turned out to be Hilary. Damn Switzerland!
6. What is your favorite ring on your phone?
I keep mine silent most of the time. Or on vibrate. Otherwise it plays "London Calling".
7. What shirt are you wearing?
Gray button type. I'm at work.
8. Do you "label" yourself?
What? If I'm asked to, usually I write "Sam".
9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing?
Don't remember. They're on my feet and I'm not taking my shoes off for this.
10. Bright or Dark Room?
Bright right now.
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
I think she's cool. Her bangs are out of control though.
13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
I don't really remember, which probably means I had passed out.
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
"Happy Vday LUV u all"
15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
I'm not sure. There's a RiteAid a few blocks away, but I'm downtown.
16. What's a word that you say a lot?
"the"
17.Where would you be if you could be anywhere right now?
I'm actually sort of okay with right here. If I were somewhere else, I'd feel guilty for not being at work.
18. Last furry thing you touched?
Um. I choose not to answer this.
19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
I take vitamins every morning... probably some Tylenol on Monday.
20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
Zero!
21. Favorite age you have been so far?
27 was complicated but full of interesting stuff. Since then the complicated has outweighed the interesting.
22. Your worst enemy?
Dr. Demento.
23. What is your current desktop picture?
The "crystal" background that comes with XP.
24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"Yeah, it all went out fine."
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
See, if you could fly, I bet you could make a million bucks a few hundred times over. Also, flying would be cool. That's win-win (win), baby.
26. Do you like someone?
I choose to answer Kim's sidenote: it's in every single meme because these are written by people who think "liking someone" is the biggest secret you can have. Oh, and no.
27. The last song you listened to?
Something on the radio last night, but I can't remember what. It may have been BTO.
December 18, 2007
Enough With the Substance
Blah blah "I Am Legend" blah "scary movie instincts". Blah. Time for some good old-fashioned meme porn.
1. Do you ever bite your lip?
Yes? I don't notice.
2. Do you have pictures on your walls?
Not in my office. And... not at home. Yet. I'm lazy.
3. Have you ever seen anyone picking their nose?
Of course. Children do it without a care in the world.
4. Do you like country music?
Nope. Except the soulful ballads by countryish singers. Is Kim Richey country?
5. How do you peel your orange?
In big chunks.
6. Do you like bananas?
Yes. They're especially good in Cheerios.
7. Could things be better in your life at the moment?
Can't they always?
8. Have you ever tried to put a huge puzzle together?
All the time, in ages past. It's what the family does during holidays.
9. Have you ever been drunk?
What? Of course not. I'm a teetotaler.
10. Did you ever try to cut yourself?
I dislike blood, especially my own. And I'm not that desperate for attention.
11. Do you like clowns?
I am not scared of them, but otherwise I could go either way.
12. Have you seen the movie Jaws?
Yes. And Jaws 2.
13. How do you feel about show offs?
I love them! Seriously, what is the range of answers expected here?
14. Do you go to the library?
Not since law school.
15. Are you excited for back to school?
This question is both chronlogically outdated (it's December!) and personally inapplicable (no school!).
16. Whats your favorite type of energy drink?
I don't drink "energy drinks". I like the red Vitamin Water though.
17. What do you put on your hamburger?
Everything. Don't really like onions though.
18. Do you wish you were older?
I will be older in... 16 days.
19. Do you wish you had magical powers?
Magical? Not really. Sounds like a lot of arcane studying.
20. If so, what powers?
I'm still a fan of immortality. Yeah, I've seen the Twilight Zone and Outer Limits, I'm aware of the drawbacks. I'm still interested.
21. Do you eat teddy grahams?
Isn't that a cereal? No.
22. Does anyone hate you?
I hope not.
23. What is your favorite color of eyeliner?
This is a chick meme, isn't it.
24. Have you ever believed in fairies?
It is. Damn it.
25. Has a butterfly ever landed on your finger?
I massacred hundreds of them while driving through Arizona one time. It was awesome. Take that, you wussy question.
26. Do you have your nose pierced?
That would go over poorly in court.
27. Do you know how to multiply?
As in, "Go forth and multiply"? Because yeah baby, I sho' do.
28. Do you know how to divide?
I hate long division.
29. What was the first school you attended?
Fairview Elementary.
30. What is your favorite number?
I don't have one. Six?
31. Would you rather have braces or glasses?
Braces suck, man. Glasses all the way.
32. What did you have for lunch?
Haven't had lunch yet.
33. Who is/are your best friend(s?)
Good question. It varies.
34. Have you ever seen Coronation street?
I do not know what this means.
35. Are you missing anyone right now?
Sure.
36. Who?
Oh aren't you clever with your follow-up questions. Well I am declining to answer on advice of counsel.
37. Do you have a job?
Yup.
38. Where do you work?
A law firm. Pays the bills!
39.Have you ever stolen something before?
Yes.
40. What was it?
Online stuff. Nothing from the "real world" though.
POST-SCRIPT: These questions started out with promise but rapidly became stupid. Maybe there are no good memes left. Maybe I will have no choice but to make thoughtful, substantive posts about life from here on out.
Oh nevermind, I forgot about the marginally illiterate rants!
1. Do you ever bite your lip?
Yes? I don't notice.
2. Do you have pictures on your walls?
Not in my office. And... not at home. Yet. I'm lazy.
3. Have you ever seen anyone picking their nose?
Of course. Children do it without a care in the world.
4. Do you like country music?
Nope. Except the soulful ballads by countryish singers. Is Kim Richey country?
5. How do you peel your orange?
In big chunks.
6. Do you like bananas?
Yes. They're especially good in Cheerios.
7. Could things be better in your life at the moment?
Can't they always?
8. Have you ever tried to put a huge puzzle together?
All the time, in ages past. It's what the family does during holidays.
9. Have you ever been drunk?
What? Of course not. I'm a teetotaler.
10. Did you ever try to cut yourself?
I dislike blood, especially my own. And I'm not that desperate for attention.
11. Do you like clowns?
I am not scared of them, but otherwise I could go either way.
12. Have you seen the movie Jaws?
Yes. And Jaws 2.
13. How do you feel about show offs?
I love them! Seriously, what is the range of answers expected here?
14. Do you go to the library?
Not since law school.
15. Are you excited for back to school?
This question is both chronlogically outdated (it's December!) and personally inapplicable (no school!).
16. Whats your favorite type of energy drink?
I don't drink "energy drinks". I like the red Vitamin Water though.
17. What do you put on your hamburger?
Everything. Don't really like onions though.
18. Do you wish you were older?
I will be older in... 16 days.
19. Do you wish you had magical powers?
Magical? Not really. Sounds like a lot of arcane studying.
20. If so, what powers?
I'm still a fan of immortality. Yeah, I've seen the Twilight Zone and Outer Limits, I'm aware of the drawbacks. I'm still interested.
21. Do you eat teddy grahams?
Isn't that a cereal? No.
22. Does anyone hate you?
I hope not.
23. What is your favorite color of eyeliner?
This is a chick meme, isn't it.
24. Have you ever believed in fairies?
It is. Damn it.
25. Has a butterfly ever landed on your finger?
I massacred hundreds of them while driving through Arizona one time. It was awesome. Take that, you wussy question.
26. Do you have your nose pierced?
That would go over poorly in court.
27. Do you know how to multiply?
As in, "Go forth and multiply"? Because yeah baby, I sho' do.
28. Do you know how to divide?
I hate long division.
29. What was the first school you attended?
Fairview Elementary.
30. What is your favorite number?
I don't have one. Six?
31. Would you rather have braces or glasses?
Braces suck, man. Glasses all the way.
32. What did you have for lunch?
Haven't had lunch yet.
33. Who is/are your best friend(s?)
Good question. It varies.
34. Have you ever seen Coronation street?
I do not know what this means.
35. Are you missing anyone right now?
Sure.
36. Who?
Oh aren't you clever with your follow-up questions. Well I am declining to answer on advice of counsel.
37. Do you have a job?
Yup.
38. Where do you work?
A law firm. Pays the bills!
39.Have you ever stolen something before?
Yes.
40. What was it?
Online stuff. Nothing from the "real world" though.
POST-SCRIPT: These questions started out with promise but rapidly became stupid. Maybe there are no good memes left. Maybe I will have no choice but to make thoughtful, substantive posts about life from here on out.
Oh nevermind, I forgot about the marginally illiterate rants!
December 6, 2007
Brimful of Asha on the...
...45?
These aren't half bad, for once.
1. Do you still talk to the person you had your first kiss with?
First kiss? Nope, I haven't seen or heard of her in more than 10 years. Second kiss is married. Third kiss is MIA as well. Maybe this means something.
2. What would you do with 1,000 plastic spoons?
I guess donate them to a soup kitchen or something.
3. What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
Same as Kim, I listened to my parents music. Which meant my dad's music, which meant classic rock.
4. What is the best thing about your job?
I'm still thrilled just to have one.
5. Do you wish cell phone etiquette was required in class?
I'm hardly ever in "class" so I don't really care. But there are many issues that I have with cell phones.
8. Where are you going on your next vacation?
True vacation? No idea. I don't count going to Virginia for Christmas.
9. Quote a song lyric?
"Morning's here, the morning's here
Sunshine is near
The sky is blue, the morning's here."
10. Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
It's all relative. Most are old, I suppose, but it depends on your meaning, Poll Drafting Person.
11. Do you own any furniture from Ikea?
Almost all of it is from Ikea.
13. If you could be an animal what would you be?
Something that can fly, like a hawk. Some sort of raptor.
14. What state/country are you from?
I was born in Virginia.
15. Tell us about the last conversation/s you had.
"Where the hell is everybody?" "I know! Man!" "Oh well."
16. Where do you see yourself in one month?
At work. It's possible that other than a shifting of the piles of paper on my desk, and a different shirt, that everything will be exactly identical.
17. What is your favorite smell?
Girl smell. Sometimes it's perfume, sometimes it's some other thing girls use, but it's pretty good.
18. What is your favorite sight?
I am most often amazed by weather effects and other heavenly sights (sunsets, etc.). They're pretty outstanding.
19. Do you consider yourself bi-polar?
If you "consider yourself" bipolar you're an idiot, and probably just looking for attention. People who actually are bipolar have had a real diagnosis and treatment.
21. Have you ever done anything vindictive to your coworkers?
I don't roll down like that. I'll cut you eye-to-eye, not from behind two weeks later. Fo' sho'.
22. Have you ever gone to therapy?
Sure. Post-parental divorce, during some teen angst issues, and people have been recommending it lately too. Hmm.
23. Have you ever played Spin the bottle?
I was not cool when it was cool to play Spin the Bottle, so I was not at those parties.
24. Have you ever toilet-papered someone's house?
Hmmm. I honestly can't recall. Chance would know.
25. Have you ever liked someone but never told them?
That could be the subtitle to part one of my autobiography, "Sam: The Formative Years".
26. Have you ever gone camping?
Of course. I was a Cub Scout after all.
27. Have you ever had a crush on your sister's friend?
Let me think on that. Emily's were all way too young, but Kate's weren't. I don't believe that I ever had a real "crush" on one of them though.
28. Have you ever been to a nude beach?
Nope. There are plenty around but that ain't my thing.
29. Have you ever had sex on the beach?
Neither the act nor the drink. Sand doesn't belong in certain places.
30. Have you ever had a stalker?
I've known a girl that my female friends considered a stalker, but this just made me convinced that most girls who claim "OMG stalker!" don't really know how bad it could be.
I... should show them. (cue maniacal laughter)
32. Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?
Sure baby, we all have I hope. I mean, if tearing up is crying.
33. Have you ever gone to a party where you were the only sober one?
I didn't drink much in the early part of college, so yeah. It has happened.
34. Have you ever been cheated on?
Not that I'm aware of, but I wouldn't be surprised.
35. Have you ever felt betrayed by your best friend?
Not really. I wasn't right if I did, at least.
36. Have you ever lied to your parents?
Who doesn't? Damn religious kids, making me answer questions that should be a no-brainer.
37. Have you ever been out of the US?
Canada, Mexico, and technically British soil.
38. Have you ever thrown up from working out?
The very first time I ever worked out, to my knowledge, was in 9th grade at the first Crew practice, and yeah I did. But not since then.
39. Have you ever gotten a haircut so bad that you wore a hat for a month straight?
More often I delay getting a haircut for so long that a hat is necessary.
40. Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places in 1 day?
Probably, but not on purpose and not in the last 5 or so years.
41. Have you ever gotten so wasted you cant remember the nite before?
It's "night" and no. I have always been suspicious of people that can't recall anything about the night before; usually you know what happened, you just don't remember the details very clearly. So yeah you did make out with me, Amber!!!
(that was a joke, don't get all crazy on me out there)
42. Have you ever spied on someone you had a crush on?
Is Google spying? Because if so hell yeah. Otherwise no, not that I'm aware of.
43. Have you ever slept with one of your coworkers?
Yep!
44. Kissed more than one person at a time?
No and no thank you.
45. Pot?
Kettle? Black!
These aren't half bad, for once.
1. Do you still talk to the person you had your first kiss with?
First kiss? Nope, I haven't seen or heard of her in more than 10 years. Second kiss is married. Third kiss is MIA as well. Maybe this means something.
2. What would you do with 1,000 plastic spoons?
I guess donate them to a soup kitchen or something.
3. What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
Same as Kim, I listened to my parents music. Which meant my dad's music, which meant classic rock.
4. What is the best thing about your job?
I'm still thrilled just to have one.
5. Do you wish cell phone etiquette was required in class?
I'm hardly ever in "class" so I don't really care. But there are many issues that I have with cell phones.
8. Where are you going on your next vacation?
True vacation? No idea. I don't count going to Virginia for Christmas.
9. Quote a song lyric?
"Morning's here, the morning's here
Sunshine is near
The sky is blue, the morning's here."
10. Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
It's all relative. Most are old, I suppose, but it depends on your meaning, Poll Drafting Person.
11. Do you own any furniture from Ikea?
Almost all of it is from Ikea.
13. If you could be an animal what would you be?
Something that can fly, like a hawk. Some sort of raptor.
14. What state/country are you from?
I was born in Virginia.
15. Tell us about the last conversation/s you had.
"Where the hell is everybody?" "I know! Man!" "Oh well."
16. Where do you see yourself in one month?
At work. It's possible that other than a shifting of the piles of paper on my desk, and a different shirt, that everything will be exactly identical.
17. What is your favorite smell?
Girl smell. Sometimes it's perfume, sometimes it's some other thing girls use, but it's pretty good.
18. What is your favorite sight?
I am most often amazed by weather effects and other heavenly sights (sunsets, etc.). They're pretty outstanding.
19. Do you consider yourself bi-polar?
If you "consider yourself" bipolar you're an idiot, and probably just looking for attention. People who actually are bipolar have had a real diagnosis and treatment.
21. Have you ever done anything vindictive to your coworkers?
I don't roll down like that. I'll cut you eye-to-eye, not from behind two weeks later. Fo' sho'.
22. Have you ever gone to therapy?
Sure. Post-parental divorce, during some teen angst issues, and people have been recommending it lately too. Hmm.
23. Have you ever played Spin the bottle?
I was not cool when it was cool to play Spin the Bottle, so I was not at those parties.
24. Have you ever toilet-papered someone's house?
Hmmm. I honestly can't recall. Chance would know.
25. Have you ever liked someone but never told them?
That could be the subtitle to part one of my autobiography, "Sam: The Formative Years".
26. Have you ever gone camping?
Of course. I was a Cub Scout after all.
27. Have you ever had a crush on your sister's friend?
Let me think on that. Emily's were all way too young, but Kate's weren't. I don't believe that I ever had a real "crush" on one of them though.
28. Have you ever been to a nude beach?
Nope. There are plenty around but that ain't my thing.
29. Have you ever had sex on the beach?
Neither the act nor the drink. Sand doesn't belong in certain places.
30. Have you ever had a stalker?
I've known a girl that my female friends considered a stalker, but this just made me convinced that most girls who claim "OMG stalker!" don't really know how bad it could be.
I... should show them. (cue maniacal laughter)
32. Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?
Sure baby, we all have I hope. I mean, if tearing up is crying.
33. Have you ever gone to a party where you were the only sober one?
I didn't drink much in the early part of college, so yeah. It has happened.
34. Have you ever been cheated on?
Not that I'm aware of, but I wouldn't be surprised.
35. Have you ever felt betrayed by your best friend?
Not really. I wasn't right if I did, at least.
36. Have you ever lied to your parents?
Who doesn't? Damn religious kids, making me answer questions that should be a no-brainer.
37. Have you ever been out of the US?
Canada, Mexico, and technically British soil.
38. Have you ever thrown up from working out?
The very first time I ever worked out, to my knowledge, was in 9th grade at the first Crew practice, and yeah I did. But not since then.
39. Have you ever gotten a haircut so bad that you wore a hat for a month straight?
More often I delay getting a haircut for so long that a hat is necessary.
40. Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places in 1 day?
Probably, but not on purpose and not in the last 5 or so years.
41. Have you ever gotten so wasted you cant remember the nite before?
It's "night" and no. I have always been suspicious of people that can't recall anything about the night before; usually you know what happened, you just don't remember the details very clearly. So yeah you did make out with me, Amber!!!
(that was a joke, don't get all crazy on me out there)
42. Have you ever spied on someone you had a crush on?
Is Google spying? Because if so hell yeah. Otherwise no, not that I'm aware of.
43. Have you ever slept with one of your coworkers?
Yep!
44. Kissed more than one person at a time?
No and no thank you.
45. Pot?
Kettle? Black!
November 27, 2007
OnetwothreeGO!
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Witness something extraordinary
2. Travel to... almost anywhere outside the US. This one should be easily achieved.
3. Achieve nirvana?
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Sam
2. Samuel if I'm being called for attendance.
3. Sammy if you're cruisin' for a bruisin'.
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. sammyb78 (i know, see #3 in previous, shut up)
2. volcanogod (good ol' quake!)
3. sjb (at work)
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I am glad I am tall.
2. I have pretty good-sized shoulders. Not good for shirt-buying though.
3. ... (I don't have any issues, but "like" implies a preference for over other things; I don't think I'm that wedded to any other part of me).
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. German
2. French
3. Hillbilly.
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Nothing scares me, but I don't like:
2. needles or blood
3. large or particularly disgusting bugs
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Car keys
2. Computer
3. Caffeine of some kind.
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Shoes
2. Shirt
3. Service.
THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE BANDS/MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. I still like The Shins
2. Also, any sad bastard music hits the spot right now.
3. R.E.M.?
THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE SONGS:
(I just noticed, is this poll British?)
1. The cover of Working Class Hero by Green Day
2. This is really hard without my iPod in hand.
3. Guilty pleasure: that stupid song by Fergie about not crying or something.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. I plead the fifth on this one.
2. Really.
3. Move along.
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
1. I can count to ten in 4 languages.
2. I work best alone.
3. I know how to drive a stick-shift.
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
(My preferred sex? Or have we as a society agreed to prefer one?)
1. Eyes. Not just having them, but pretty ones.
2. Neck.
3. All that obvious stuff like boobs and butt.
THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES:
1. I got yer hobbies right here, mister.
2. Video games.
3. Movies.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Be done with work for the day.
2. Be okay with stuff.
3. Fly.
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1. PR flack (done and done)
2. Political hack (maybe someday)
3. Writer (because what blogger doesn't wish they had the talent for full novel writing?)
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Europe.
2. Fiji.
3. Back to the Caribbean.
THREE KID'S NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Ophelia (if I don't like the kid)
2. Henry (I still say it's a good name)
3. Natasha.
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. I have feelings?
2. I use hair product.
3. Yeah, gossip. I do that.
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. I have all the required parts.
2. I don't talk about my feelings.
3. I will hit you. No, not YOU. That guy.
Although, I don't know that "stereotypical" works in this area, because with today's gender-bending culture, the only real norm is physical anatomy (and even that is alterable). I mean, around here, hair product is pretty popular with The Boys.
1. Witness something extraordinary
2. Travel to... almost anywhere outside the US. This one should be easily achieved.
3. Achieve nirvana?
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Sam
2. Samuel if I'm being called for attendance.
3. Sammy if you're cruisin' for a bruisin'.
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. sammyb78 (i know, see #3 in previous, shut up)
2. volcanogod (good ol' quake!)
3. sjb (at work)
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I am glad I am tall.
2. I have pretty good-sized shoulders. Not good for shirt-buying though.
3. ... (I don't have any issues, but "like" implies a preference for over other things; I don't think I'm that wedded to any other part of me).
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. German
2. French
3. Hillbilly.
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Nothing scares me, but I don't like:
2. needles or blood
3. large or particularly disgusting bugs
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Car keys
2. Computer
3. Caffeine of some kind.
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Shoes
2. Shirt
3. Service.
THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE BANDS/MUSICAL ARTISTS:
1. I still like The Shins
2. Also, any sad bastard music hits the spot right now.
3. R.E.M.?
THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE SONGS:
(I just noticed, is this poll British?)
1. The cover of Working Class Hero by Green Day
2. This is really hard without my iPod in hand.
3. Guilty pleasure: that stupid song by Fergie about not crying or something.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. I plead the fifth on this one.
2. Really.
3. Move along.
TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
1. I can count to ten in 4 languages.
2. I work best alone.
3. I know how to drive a stick-shift.
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
(My preferred sex? Or have we as a society agreed to prefer one?)
1. Eyes. Not just having them, but pretty ones.
2. Neck.
3. All that obvious stuff like boobs and butt.
THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES:
1. I got yer hobbies right here, mister.
2. Video games.
3. Movies.
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Be done with work for the day.
2. Be okay with stuff.
3. Fly.
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
1. PR flack (done and done)
2. Political hack (maybe someday)
3. Writer (because what blogger doesn't wish they had the talent for full novel writing?)
THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Europe.
2. Fiji.
3. Back to the Caribbean.
THREE KID'S NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Ophelia (if I don't like the kid)
2. Henry (I still say it's a good name)
3. Natasha.
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. I have feelings?
2. I use hair product.
3. Yeah, gossip. I do that.
THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. I have all the required parts.
2. I don't talk about my feelings.
3. I will hit you. No, not YOU. That guy.
Although, I don't know that "stereotypical" works in this area, because with today's gender-bending culture, the only real norm is physical anatomy (and even that is alterable). I mean, around here, hair product is pretty popular with The Boys.
November 7, 2007
The Long Arm of the Myspace Law
I stole this from my cousin’s Myspace. Normally I would only steal a meme from Kim, because she’s pretty good at sorting out the crappy or idiotic ones. But I like this because it lets me flex my legal muscles.
You’re supposed to say “guilty” or “innocent”, but given those particular choices I may have to object or plead insanity a few times.
1. Dated outside your race?
Guilty. Easy to do when you’re The Man.
2. Gotten a hickey?
Guilty? I don’t recall but I bet I have. Damn wimmins.
3. Dated your best friend?
Objection as to form; vague and ambiguous. Were we friends prior to dating? As dating progressed? After dating? All have different answers.
4. Sang in the shower?
Guilty as hell. My voice is AWESOME.
5. Spit in someone's drink?
Happy to be innocent of this one.
6. Opened your Christmas presents early?
“Not Guilty” on a technicality. If it’s not wrapped yet, how can I open it?
7. Got into a fight at school?
Objection, vague and ambiguous. Assumes facts not in evidence. What school? Verbal or physical? Was I a key participant or a bystander that stepped in to prevent harm?
8. Lied to a friend?
Hell yeah I’m guilty. My friends get uppity sometimes.
9. Seen "The Goonies" more than 10 times?
I never counted. All the way through? Probably innocent. But in parts, completely guilty because Goonies rocks.
10. Had more than five REAL bf/gfs
Innocent by virtue of the fact that I’ve been stingy with that particular label.
11. Been arrested?
In-no-cent.
12. Ran through the sprinklers naked?
Not in the last 20 years. Innocent by statute of limitations.
13. Ate food that fell on the floor?
Guilty.
14. Went outside naked?
Objection, vague and ambiguous. The question is framed so that if one exits an indoor setting without clothes, they must answer in the affirmative. However, if one disrobes after entering an outdoor area, the response would be negative.
15. Been on stage?
Guilty, if by stage you mean any raised area on which performances are given. Still guilty if the question is assuming your presence occurred while participating in a performance before a live audience, although this question is poorly framed.
16. Made someone cry?
Guilty, via both physical and emotional pain. The ladies only get the latter.
17. Fooled around with somebody way older?
Objection as to the term “way older”. I cannot answer this.
18. Been in a school play?
Objection as to the term “in”. I have participated in school productions of dramatic works; however I was not a performer.
19. Drank beer?
Seriously? Guilty because I’m not Amish.
20. Gotten detention?
Guilty (see above response to No. 7)
21. Been suspended from school?
Innocent.
22. Been on a cruise?
Guilty.
23. Broken into a house?
Guilty but, like my cousin, it doesn’t count. It was my own house.
24. Gotten a tattoo?
Innocent. Guilty but for lack of a creative spark at the right time.
25. Gotten piercings?
Innocent. My dad’s got that covered just fine.
26. Cried so hard you threw up?
Innocent. Do people do that?
27. Gotten into a shouting match?
Hella guilty. I shout when angry.
28. Been skinny dipping?
Innocent, with unfortunately no exceptions.
29. Spun yourself in circles to get dizzy on purpose.
Guilty. Who hasn’t done this? You suck.
30. Laughed so hard it hurt?
Totally guilty.
31. Tripped on your own feet?
Guilty on repeated occasions. I am a serial-killer when it comes to this one. Stupid limbs.
32. Cried yourself to sleep?
Innocent. I once woke up crying, though.
33. Cried in public?
Innocent as far as I know.
34. Thrown up in public?
Guilty if by “in public” one assumes that even a single-occupant restroom in a publicly-accessible location is still “public”.
35. Lied to your parents?
Guilty at some point in the past. I don’t believe there are any currently-running lies, though.
36. Skipped class?
I've skipped a whole WEEK of class. Guilty!
37. Slept in class?
Probably guilty. Once I passed out in class, but I don’t think that counts. I was only out for 4 or 5 seconds.
Huzzah! No insanity defense necessary. My life has been boring, yo.
You’re supposed to say “guilty” or “innocent”, but given those particular choices I may have to object or plead insanity a few times.
1. Dated outside your race?
Guilty. Easy to do when you’re The Man.
2. Gotten a hickey?
Guilty? I don’t recall but I bet I have. Damn wimmins.
3. Dated your best friend?
Objection as to form; vague and ambiguous. Were we friends prior to dating? As dating progressed? After dating? All have different answers.
4. Sang in the shower?
Guilty as hell. My voice is AWESOME.
5. Spit in someone's drink?
Happy to be innocent of this one.
6. Opened your Christmas presents early?
“Not Guilty” on a technicality. If it’s not wrapped yet, how can I open it?
7. Got into a fight at school?
Objection, vague and ambiguous. Assumes facts not in evidence. What school? Verbal or physical? Was I a key participant or a bystander that stepped in to prevent harm?
8. Lied to a friend?
Hell yeah I’m guilty. My friends get uppity sometimes.
9. Seen "The Goonies" more than 10 times?
I never counted. All the way through? Probably innocent. But in parts, completely guilty because Goonies rocks.
10. Had more than five REAL bf/gfs
Innocent by virtue of the fact that I’ve been stingy with that particular label.
11. Been arrested?
In-no-cent.
12. Ran through the sprinklers naked?
Not in the last 20 years. Innocent by statute of limitations.
13. Ate food that fell on the floor?
Guilty.
14. Went outside naked?
Objection, vague and ambiguous. The question is framed so that if one exits an indoor setting without clothes, they must answer in the affirmative. However, if one disrobes after entering an outdoor area, the response would be negative.
15. Been on stage?
Guilty, if by stage you mean any raised area on which performances are given. Still guilty if the question is assuming your presence occurred while participating in a performance before a live audience, although this question is poorly framed.
16. Made someone cry?
Guilty, via both physical and emotional pain. The ladies only get the latter.
17. Fooled around with somebody way older?
Objection as to the term “way older”. I cannot answer this.
18. Been in a school play?
Objection as to the term “in”. I have participated in school productions of dramatic works; however I was not a performer.
19. Drank beer?
Seriously? Guilty because I’m not Amish.
20. Gotten detention?
Guilty (see above response to No. 7)
21. Been suspended from school?
Innocent.
22. Been on a cruise?
Guilty.
23. Broken into a house?
Guilty but, like my cousin, it doesn’t count. It was my own house.
24. Gotten a tattoo?
Innocent. Guilty but for lack of a creative spark at the right time.
25. Gotten piercings?
Innocent. My dad’s got that covered just fine.
26. Cried so hard you threw up?
Innocent. Do people do that?
27. Gotten into a shouting match?
Hella guilty. I shout when angry.
28. Been skinny dipping?
Innocent, with unfortunately no exceptions.
29. Spun yourself in circles to get dizzy on purpose.
Guilty. Who hasn’t done this? You suck.
30. Laughed so hard it hurt?
Totally guilty.
31. Tripped on your own feet?
Guilty on repeated occasions. I am a serial-killer when it comes to this one. Stupid limbs.
32. Cried yourself to sleep?
Innocent. I once woke up crying, though.
33. Cried in public?
Innocent as far as I know.
34. Thrown up in public?
Guilty if by “in public” one assumes that even a single-occupant restroom in a publicly-accessible location is still “public”.
35. Lied to your parents?
Guilty at some point in the past. I don’t believe there are any currently-running lies, though.
36. Skipped class?
I've skipped a whole WEEK of class. Guilty!
37. Slept in class?
Probably guilty. Once I passed out in class, but I don’t think that counts. I was only out for 4 or 5 seconds.
Huzzah! No insanity defense necessary. My life has been boring, yo.
November 2, 2007
Forever in Blue Jeans
This post is dedicated to Neil Diamond, for absolutely no reason.
I've decided to try and remember as much specificity as possible, and answer down to the day where I can.
Six years ago.....
1.) How old were you?
23 years, 9 months, and 30 days.
2.) Where did you go to school?
School of Life, my friend. I was between academic endeavors.
3) Where did you work?
Fight Crime: Invest in Kids.
4.) Where did you live?
In Arlington, Virginia, with my good buddy the Narc. Narc!
5.) Where did you hang out?
A couple bars in Dupont, and down at Tech with my girlfriend. On Friday, Nov. 2, 2001 I may have been driving down to Tech (though, even accounting for the time difference in coasts, I would more likely have been at work still).
6.) Did you wear glasses?
Not outside. Contacts!
7.) Who was your best friend?
Had to be Jason the Baby Daddy and Raf the Roommate.
9.) How many piercings did you have?
Zilch.
10.) Did you have a car?
Yep, the ol' Mazda Protege. She was hanging in there.
11.) Had you been to a real party?
Clearly this meme is meant for people younger than I. At 23? Of course.
12.) Had You had your heart broken?
Sure had.
13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced?
Taken even though she was in nowheresville and largely being a pain in the ass. Haha! Just kidding K.
14.)Any Kids?
None that I know of.
-------------3 years ago----------
1.) How old were you?
26 years, 9 months, and 30 days.
2.) Where did you go to school?
University of San Diego School of Law.
3.) Where did you work?
In November 2004, I was blissfully happy with my unemployment.
4.) Where did you live?
In an area of San Diego called Mission Hills, just to the west of Hillcrest.
5.).Where did you hang out?
It was the beginning of the 2nd year of law school, so it may have been part of my ill-advised "party phase" wherein I went to 3 or 4 "bar reviews". Yes, that was partying... to me.
6.) Did you wear glasses?
Still contacts.
7.) Who were your best friend(s):
In November '04, it was probably Hil. The whole law school gang was still semi-tight then, though.
8.) How many tattoos did you have?
Still zilch. I would get dangerously close to upping that by 1 in about 3 months.
9.) How many piercings did you have?
None, and happy that way.
10) What car did you drive?
The one I still drive, an Acura Integra. She's a trooper.
11) Had your heart broken?
Still yes, but not further broken between 2001 and this point.
12.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced:
Single and looking. At the time, I was hilariously looking in a completely silly direction that ultimately turned out great because she's a super friend.
13.) Any Kids?
Only the illegitimate ones.
--------------------Today--------------------
1.) How old are you?
29 years, 9 months, and 30 days.
2.) Where do you work?
At a law firm that I ain't about to name, for legal reasons.
3) Where do you live?
In the Lake Merritt area of Oakland, California.
4.) Do you wear glasses?
Jesus. STILL. CONTACTS.
5) Who is your best friend?
Gotta be the girlfriend.
6.) Do you talk to your old friends?
I try to. I want to do better.
7) How many piercings do you have?
Never did get anything pierced.
8) How many tattoos?
That window sorta passed me by as well. Maybe someday...
9) What kind of car do you have
Same old Acura.
10.) Has your heart been broken?
Not lately.
11)Single/Taken/Married/Divorced:
Taken.
12.)Any Kids?
There's a great kid that I hang out with, but I'm only a fan and not the provider of necessary genetic material.
In three more years, it will be 2010 and spacecars will roam the skyways. I cannot predict what my answers then will be, of course. I do hope to have at least 7 tattoos though. That'll shut the stupid question up.
I've decided to try and remember as much specificity as possible, and answer down to the day where I can.
Six years ago.....
1.) How old were you?
23 years, 9 months, and 30 days.
2.) Where did you go to school?
School of Life, my friend. I was between academic endeavors.
3) Where did you work?
Fight Crime: Invest in Kids.
4.) Where did you live?
In Arlington, Virginia, with my good buddy the Narc. Narc!
5.) Where did you hang out?
A couple bars in Dupont, and down at Tech with my girlfriend. On Friday, Nov. 2, 2001 I may have been driving down to Tech (though, even accounting for the time difference in coasts, I would more likely have been at work still).
6.) Did you wear glasses?
Not outside. Contacts!
7.) Who was your best friend?
Had to be Jason the Baby Daddy and Raf the Roommate.
9.) How many piercings did you have?
Zilch.
10.) Did you have a car?
Yep, the ol' Mazda Protege. She was hanging in there.
11.) Had you been to a real party?
Clearly this meme is meant for people younger than I. At 23? Of course.
12.) Had You had your heart broken?
Sure had.
13.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced?
Taken even though she was in nowheresville and largely being a pain in the ass. Haha! Just kidding K.
14.)Any Kids?
None that I know of.
-------------3 years ago----------
1.) How old were you?
26 years, 9 months, and 30 days.
2.) Where did you go to school?
University of San Diego School of Law.
3.) Where did you work?
In November 2004, I was blissfully happy with my unemployment.
4.) Where did you live?
In an area of San Diego called Mission Hills, just to the west of Hillcrest.
5.).Where did you hang out?
It was the beginning of the 2nd year of law school, so it may have been part of my ill-advised "party phase" wherein I went to 3 or 4 "bar reviews". Yes, that was partying... to me.
6.) Did you wear glasses?
Still contacts.
7.) Who were your best friend(s):
In November '04, it was probably Hil. The whole law school gang was still semi-tight then, though.
8.) How many tattoos did you have?
Still zilch. I would get dangerously close to upping that by 1 in about 3 months.
9.) How many piercings did you have?
None, and happy that way.
10) What car did you drive?
The one I still drive, an Acura Integra. She's a trooper.
11) Had your heart broken?
Still yes, but not further broken between 2001 and this point.
12.) Single/Taken/Married/Divorced:
Single and looking. At the time, I was hilariously looking in a completely silly direction that ultimately turned out great because she's a super friend.
13.) Any Kids?
Only the illegitimate ones.
--------------------Today--------------------
1.) How old are you?
29 years, 9 months, and 30 days.
2.) Where do you work?
At a law firm that I ain't about to name, for legal reasons.
3) Where do you live?
In the Lake Merritt area of Oakland, California.
4.) Do you wear glasses?
Jesus. STILL. CONTACTS.
5) Who is your best friend?
Gotta be the girlfriend.
6.) Do you talk to your old friends?
I try to. I want to do better.
7) How many piercings do you have?
Never did get anything pierced.
8) How many tattoos?
That window sorta passed me by as well. Maybe someday...
9) What kind of car do you have
Same old Acura.
10.) Has your heart been broken?
Not lately.
11)Single/Taken/Married/Divorced:
Taken.
12.)Any Kids?
There's a great kid that I hang out with, but I'm only a fan and not the provider of necessary genetic material.
In three more years, it will be 2010 and spacecars will roam the skyways. I cannot predict what my answers then will be, of course. I do hope to have at least 7 tattoos though. That'll shut the stupid question up.
September 24, 2007
Hooray for Tagging Goodness
BU tossed me a tag, and while my first inclination as a registered California voter is to be struck blind by his request for an Ah-nold presidency, I submit. The bold terms are mine, if you're having trouble understanding. Also, because I can't help it, I appended notes to some of them.
1) In a perfect world, we'd never have to hear another word from James Dobson. (note: Jack Thompson is an awesome choice, though).
2) In a perfect world, Al Gore would be president and the entirety of the Bush Administration would have never discovered politics. (I know it's obvious, but any other answer would feel incomplete.)
3) In a perfect world, all education would be free.
4) In a perfect world, GWAR would give free concerts every night members of the Christian Coalition would be forced to be their roadies. (This was tough because it was really hard to improve upon BU's answer)
5) In a perfect world, the highest paid job would be mine and benefits would include immortality. Suffer my wrath, puny mortals!
6) In a perfect world, I'd be able to go into any Court in the nation with no guilt or fear. Mostly fear.
7) In a perfect world, punching people who can't drive in the nuts wouldn't be a crime but almost nothing would have a much harsher sentence (like death). I don't believe in the death penalty, suckas!
8) In a perfect world, there wouldn't be traffic because everyone was too busy chilling the f*** out. This, um, seems to contradict my "punching people in the nuts" policy from #7.
9) In a perfect world, The Office would air a new episode every night.
10) A perfect world would require me to be sent to another planet.
1) In a perfect world, we'd never have to hear another word from James Dobson. (note: Jack Thompson is an awesome choice, though).
2) In a perfect world, Al Gore would be president and the entirety of the Bush Administration would have never discovered politics. (I know it's obvious, but any other answer would feel incomplete.)
3) In a perfect world, all education would be free.
4) In a perfect world, GWAR would give free concerts every night members of the Christian Coalition would be forced to be their roadies. (This was tough because it was really hard to improve upon BU's answer)
5) In a perfect world, the highest paid job would be mine and benefits would include immortality. Suffer my wrath, puny mortals!
6) In a perfect world, I'd be able to go into any Court in the nation with no guilt or fear. Mostly fear.
7) In a perfect world, punching people who can't drive in the nuts wouldn't be a crime but almost nothing would have a much harsher sentence (like death). I don't believe in the death penalty, suckas!
8) In a perfect world, there wouldn't be traffic because everyone was too busy chilling the f*** out. This, um, seems to contradict my "punching people in the nuts" policy from #7.
9) In a perfect world, The Office would air a new episode every night.
10) A perfect world would require me to be sent to another planet.
September 6, 2007
You Know You Like Them
This one is courtesy of the mouse.
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4. What does it say?
"[it would have wrenched his] soul to have Ethan chosen last for any team. "Why?" Sarah [had asked.]
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What's there?
The frame of the window.
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Something called "Between the Lions" (I think).
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
11:25 a.m.
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
11:24 a.m. The magic of billable hours makes me pretty good at that game.
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The copier, faintly, and a hum outside which may or may not be a rooftop a/c unit.
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
This morning. Walking from parking to Starbucks.
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
The Guebara v. Allstate case opinion.
9. What are you wearing?
Pants and a shirt. I'm at work, yo.
10. Did you dream last night?
Probably, but I don't remember any of it.
11. When did you last laugh?
About 5 minutes ago when talking about the upcoming Detroit Lions season.
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Zilch. I should probably hang up some stuff in here.
13. Seen anything weird lately?
In person? Not really. But this was pretty weird.
14. What do you think of this quiz?
Better than average.
15. What is the last film you saw?
Clerks II--wait, that wasn't a "film". I saw the Nanny Diar... that might not be one either. The Bourne Ultimatum?
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Honestly? The thrill of paying off all my debts in one day would be enough to keep me happy for at least a week of millionaire-ness.
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
I don't know who you are so that's a tough request. How about that my neck is all stiff and pained from sleeping bad on Tuesday night.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
This is a tougher question than I think it means to be. I feel like any change I would make would have a negative effect because it was made via "magic" and not through the efforts of actual people. We need to make the changes ourselves, not hope for some benevolent deity/millionaire/dictator to bestow them upon us.
19. Do you like to dance?
In public? No.
20. George Bush: .....
Utter, abject failure.
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Natasha
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Henry
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Sure. It'd give me serious stress but I've learned to play through my own neuroses.
24. What do you want to say to God when you reach the pearly gates?
Wouldn't a better question be, what do you want God to say to you? Because I think I'd say, "Wow, you're really here, with pearly gates? Seriously? How do I know this is a legit operation?"
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4. What does it say?
"[it would have wrenched his] soul to have Ethan chosen last for any team. "Why?" Sarah [had asked.]
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What's there?
The frame of the window.
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Something called "Between the Lions" (I think).
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
11:25 a.m.
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
11:24 a.m. The magic of billable hours makes me pretty good at that game.
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The copier, faintly, and a hum outside which may or may not be a rooftop a/c unit.
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
This morning. Walking from parking to Starbucks.
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
The Guebara v. Allstate case opinion.
9. What are you wearing?
Pants and a shirt. I'm at work, yo.
10. Did you dream last night?
Probably, but I don't remember any of it.
11. When did you last laugh?
About 5 minutes ago when talking about the upcoming Detroit Lions season.
12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Zilch. I should probably hang up some stuff in here.
13. Seen anything weird lately?
In person? Not really. But this was pretty weird.
14. What do you think of this quiz?
Better than average.
15. What is the last film you saw?
Clerks II--wait, that wasn't a "film". I saw the Nanny Diar... that might not be one either. The Bourne Ultimatum?
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Honestly? The thrill of paying off all my debts in one day would be enough to keep me happy for at least a week of millionaire-ness.
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:
I don't know who you are so that's a tough request. How about that my neck is all stiff and pained from sleeping bad on Tuesday night.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
This is a tougher question than I think it means to be. I feel like any change I would make would have a negative effect because it was made via "magic" and not through the efforts of actual people. We need to make the changes ourselves, not hope for some benevolent deity/millionaire/dictator to bestow them upon us.
19. Do you like to dance?
In public? No.
20. George Bush: .....
Utter, abject failure.
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Natasha
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Henry
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Sure. It'd give me serious stress but I've learned to play through my own neuroses.
24. What do you want to say to God when you reach the pearly gates?
Wouldn't a better question be, what do you want God to say to you? Because I think I'd say, "Wow, you're really here, with pearly gates? Seriously? How do I know this is a legit operation?"
August 15, 2007
Stolen Stuffs
Everybody loves it when I do these, right? Well, too bad, I'm doing it anyhow. I'm fairly certain it is about twice as fun for me to write than it is for you to read, but oh well. Suck it up.
1. I've come to realize the last person who held my hand...
was my girlfriend. I don't generally hold hands with strangers. Generally.
2. I am listening to...
Nothing except NPR because I can't find my iPod cable.
3. I talk...
too much, or not enough, depending on the situation.
4. I feel...
like having a burrito for lunch.
5. My best friend(s)...
live pretty far away, and it sort of bugs me.
6. I have decided...
to run a 5 or 10k.
7. I hate it when people...
don't use their turn signals.
8. Love is...
complicated until it's not.
9. Marriage is...
not the same as a civil union.
10. Someone, somewhere is thinking...
that this question reminds me of that "Right Now" video by Van Halen.
11. I'm always...
hungry.
12. More than anything, I want...
to be financially stable.
13. My cell phone...
is... on? I don't really know what you're looking for here.
14. When I wake up in the morning...
I alternate between getting up immediately, and completely blowing it.
15. Before I go to bed at night....
I lay down. This may come as a surprise to those of you that think I sleep suspended by my feet from the ceiling, draining the blood from the body of some unlucky traveler, but it's true.
16. Right now I am thinking about...
getting something done at work. What that is, I have no idea yet.
17. Babies are...
a necessity when long-term species viability is desired.
18. I get on MySpace...
to stalk people I vaguely remember from high school. I'm not proud.
19. Today I...
believe it is Thursday.
20. Tonight I will...
work late because I gots projects, son.
21. Tomorrow I will...
go to work again, and feel sad that I have to do work on Saturday too.
22. I really want...
another chai tea from Starbucks, but I can't have one.
I'm deleting the rest of this series because they are terribly lame, and seem inappropriate given my advanced, non-high school age. You can see what they were here, though, which is where I stole them from.
1. I've come to realize the last person who held my hand...
was my girlfriend. I don't generally hold hands with strangers. Generally.
2. I am listening to...
Nothing except NPR because I can't find my iPod cable.
3. I talk...
too much, or not enough, depending on the situation.
4. I feel...
like having a burrito for lunch.
5. My best friend(s)...
live pretty far away, and it sort of bugs me.
6. I have decided...
to run a 5 or 10k.
7. I hate it when people...
don't use their turn signals.
8. Love is...
complicated until it's not.
9. Marriage is...
not the same as a civil union.
10. Someone, somewhere is thinking...
that this question reminds me of that "Right Now" video by Van Halen.
11. I'm always...
hungry.
12. More than anything, I want...
to be financially stable.
13. My cell phone...
is... on? I don't really know what you're looking for here.
14. When I wake up in the morning...
I alternate between getting up immediately, and completely blowing it.
15. Before I go to bed at night....
I lay down. This may come as a surprise to those of you that think I sleep suspended by my feet from the ceiling, draining the blood from the body of some unlucky traveler, but it's true.
16. Right now I am thinking about...
getting something done at work. What that is, I have no idea yet.
17. Babies are...
a necessity when long-term species viability is desired.
18. I get on MySpace...
to stalk people I vaguely remember from high school. I'm not proud.
19. Today I...
believe it is Thursday.
20. Tonight I will...
work late because I gots projects, son.
21. Tomorrow I will...
go to work again, and feel sad that I have to do work on Saturday too.
22. I really want...
another chai tea from Starbucks, but I can't have one.
I'm deleting the rest of this series because they are terribly lame, and seem inappropriate given my advanced, non-high school age. You can see what they were here, though, which is where I stole them from.
May 20, 2007
Intensely Thought-Provoking Blog Post
Just kidding! It's another poll! My computer(s) have been acting funky lately and have eaten a couple posts from the last two weeks, so you guys get this, until I can fix it. Or buy a new one.
1. What is the last alcoholic beverage you drank?
My roommate and her boyfriend just made me finish off something called "Chardonnay Port".
2. Do you follow college football?
Just gonna ask at random, huh? No real rhyme or reason? Fine: not really.
3. Who took this survey before you?
My sister and a friend.
4. Who was the last person to send you a text message?
The girlfriend. We text so as not to interrupt the televisioning.
5. Last time you went swimming in a pool?
In a pool? Hmm...probably when I went to Santa Cruz a few months ago.
6. Are you happy?
Been better, but I'm not miserable at the moment. That's saying something after the past few weeks.
7. Where was the last place you went shopping?
Where I bought something, Macy's. Needed another suit. Or maybe just the grocery store.
8. How do you feel about your hair?
What a great question. I'm fine with it.
9. Where do you live?
San Francisco, CA
10. Last thing you ate?
A bunch of Oreos.
11. Do you wish you were some place else right now?
I sort of wish it wasn't Sunday night, but otherwise I'm okay.
12. Last time you kissed someone?
A couple hours ago when the aforementioned GF left.
13. Do you have any expensive jewelry?
I hope not. I have a couple rings. I do not think they are expensive.
14. AIM or MSN?
AIM, but not very often.
15. What classes are you taking now?
Classes? I'm still trying to learn Chinese, but no actual classes these days.
16. How many hours on average do you work a week?
Well I bill about 40 hours. I'm at the office about 50+ to make that happen, though.
17. What's your favorite TV show?
Gots to be The Office right now. Stellar. And then probably Lost, but then after that I don't even know.
18. How many kids do you want?
However many I get. But less than like, 10. I don't want to be that guy.
19. Do you watch the Olympics?
Nope. I am firmly in the "Goddamn it, the Olympics again?" category.
20. Sing in the car?
Frequently.
21. Who was the last person to call you?
Girlfriend. Because of the ending of Desperate Housewives. WTF!
22. What's your sign?
Capricorn. Stubborn as a goat.
23. Do you have a favorite number?
No. I cannot believe we're only at 23. Wait, how about 23? No.
24. Last time you did volunteer work or made any donation?
I keep almost donating to NPR. But then not doing so on account of I am super in debt.
25. What do you spend the majority of your money on?
Paying people back. And then rent, and then Starbucks. Damn Starbucks.
26. Where does most of your family live?
Immediate? Virginia, but not by much. Then Michigan.
28. Ever been called a hoe/slut?
Why would somebody call me that? And isn't it "ho"? Strike one, Anonymous Questionnaire Creator.
29. Ever been called a bitch?
Seriously, I'm not a girl. So yes, frequently, but guys.
30. Got any guilty pleasures?
Warcraft. And then probably sleep.
31. Favorite kind of beer?
Bass Ale, I think.
32. Have you ever experienced true love?
I'm not sure. Which probably means no. But not necessarily.
33. Did you ever collect Beanie Babies?
Strike Two, Questionnaire Person. No.
34. Ever bought anything on ebay?
I don't think so, thought today I found a bunch of old G.I. Joes in their original packaging in a thrift store, and I was like "I'm gonna eBay these!" but then I didn't. But I will look it up now and see how that might go.
35. Myspace or Facebook?
Myspace. Facebook is for idiots in college.
36. Yahoo or Gmail?
Gmail. Seriously, Yahoo? Who picks that on purpose?
37. What was your favorite subject in school?
I enjoyed "Communications and the Law". And then pretty much any History class.
38. Do you sometimes wish you were someone else?
If it would make the Student Loan People get off my back, I'd be Hitler.
39. Fall for the bad guys or girls?
Not that I know of. The bad girls don't go for me. So it's never really been an issue.
40. Favorite movie?
I agree with my sister, who basically said this is a stupid question. People who have a "favorite movie", no qualifications necessary, are usually idiots.
41. Last time you saw your parents?
I guess it has been since Christmas. That's alarming though.
42. Do you have any talents?
My thumbs are weird. I'm pretty good at remembering names and birthdays. I can remember a series of 10 digits immediately after hearing them one time. I can fly.
43. Ever been in a wedding?
Yup. Best man to my best bud Jason H.
44. Do you have any children?
Not that I'm aware of.
45. Last movie you watched?
Last night I watched "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues". Wow was that a waste of 102 minutes. But I had just read the book and was curious as to how in the world they'd cinematize it. Short answer: they failed terribly.
By the way, Emily, "I Am Sam" is a stupid movie.
46. Are you missing anyone at the moment?
Sure! Many people.
47. Did you take a nap today?
I don't nap. I gets my sleep at night like a Real Man.
48. What kind of car do you drive?
Acura Integra. I know, I need a new one. Someday.
49. Ever been on a cruise?
Yeah, it was pretty great. Though if I had it to do again, in the same setting (smaller boat, 120+ passengers) I'd go with a significant other (and family, if possible).
50. Favorite vacation spot?
I still think something like the Caribbean would be nice. But I'd really like to see the South Pacific someday.
51. Favorite genre of music?
Rock. Ask a broad, idiotic question, get a blase, useless answer. I cannot believe I'm only half done. On the plus side, this is helping me kill time while I... um... "wait" for The Sopranos.
52. Do you have any hot friends?
Who's asking? Yes.
53. Ever met anyone famous before?
Met, as in spoke to? I don't think so. I know a moderately well-known mixed martial arts ultimate fighting type person, but he is my girlfriend's ex so that may not count. Also "well-known" only if you follow that stuff.
54. Favorite actor?
I like me some John Cusack, about 90% of the time.
55. Favorite Actress?
Zooey Deschanel. She's pretty great. And Natalie Portman, but not because of Star Wars, because yikes.
56. Are you multi-tasking right now?
Nope. Unless you count downloading certain things from certain places because I don't have certain cable channels that play said things on Sunday nights. Ahem.
57. Could you handle being in the military?
Probably parts of it yes, parts of it no. The not questioning orders thing would be my downfall.
58. Are you hungry or thirsty?
A little thirsty, I guess.
59. Favorite fast food restaurant?
You know it's Wendy's, dawg.
60. Favorite Nightclub?
"Nightclub"? The Starlight Lounge. Because, well, I've been there. Which puts it ahead of the other places here in SF.
61. What is your average cell phone bill?
I have no idea. About $40 to $50 I think. It's on auto-pay.
62. Do you own a camera phone?
Yes. It's not bad, actually. Got a great shot from Muir Woods as a background right now.
63. Ever had to take a sobriety test?
Nope. Almost did, this one time at the Harrisonburg Wine Festival (or whatever it was called) but Raf's friend Beth blew first and was fine to drive, so I didn't have to. Ah well. Then, this drunk girl Raf was trying to get with totally started groping me in the car because she thought I was Raf. Good times.
64. Most expensive speeding ticket?
About $90 I believe.
65. Can you speak any other languages?
A wee bit o' French, and I'm learning (slowly) Chinese.
66. Last time you went to the gym & worked out?
At a gym? Literally years. I ran the other day though, down at the beach. Yeah, at the beach. Take that, people-who-live-elsewhere.
67. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Let's see... 2 fancy, 1 semi-good, 1 for running, 1 sandals. Five.
69. Last place you were at?
Yeah, this is an idiotic question. I was "at" the couch and before that "at" my girlfriends and before that "at" the Goodwill.
70. Ever been to Las Vegas?
Yup. Four times, I believe. Not bad, but not entirely my thing. Too poor.
72. Ever been to Mexico for spring break?
Yes. Cancun even. I am not that guy; it was strange, but there were some good tales that came out of it.
73. Have you ever bought a hermit crab?
Why would I do that?
74. Ever deleted a question off of a quiz?
That's not how these go. If you don't like it, you just make fun of it. Or, you know, quit and don't finish.
75. What do you think is your best feature?
Laid-backness. Not a word. Also I'm a pretty hard worker when I want to be.
76. Have you ever been gambling?
I went to Vegas, didn't I? Blackjack is fun.
77. Last show you saw on/off Broadway?
Never seen a show on/off Broadway. Never been to Broadway, for that matter.
78. Ever been deep sea fishing?
Deep lake fishing, yes. But not sea.
79. Do you have your wisdom teeth?
Gone like the dodo.
80. Favorite place to be?
Outside.
81. Have you ever been to New York City?
Can't say that I have. Never really had the opportunity, and now it's 2500+ miles over there ---->.
82. Favorite sit down restaurant?
Not the Olive Garden.
83. Ever been to Disney Land/World?
Yes and yes. Land is a bit small but has a "originality" charm to it. World is sprawling and the attractions a bit more up-to-date and fun.
84. Do you have a favorite cartoon character?
Scruffy the Janitor.
85. Last thing you cooked?
That I cooked? Hot dogs. Microwaving is cooking right?
86. How is the weather today?
A bit breezy but sunny and nice enough to wear a t-shirt.
87. Do you e-mail?
This has got to be the stupidest question I have ever responded to. Yes.
88. Last letter/piece of mail you received besides junk or a bill?
A completely awesome package from my boy Jason, who sent me the entire run of the X-Men comic book series on two DVDs. HELL YEAH.
89. Favorite store?
Can't say that I have one. Is Amazon.com a store?
90. What's your ideal car?
Something small to mid-size, that has good pickup.
91. Last voicemail you received?
Girlfriend. Yesterday. Nothing today.
92. Do you drunk dial?
Nope. Never seemed like a good idea and I'm rarely drunk, to boot.
93. Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone?
Um, I dropped it once?
95. Favorite band?
I don't know if I have one right now. I like lots of what's out there these days.
96. Last time you were sick?
I don't get sick. For reals, yo.
97. Do you dance?
What I do, they do not call dancing, because it would be a travesty to put it into words as simple as that. Simply put: I exist, therefore there is music. Wrap your brain around THAT.
98. Last concert you went to?
Haven't the slightest. That saddens me greatly.
99. Ready for the weekend?
Yes. Now I'm even sadder. The weekend is 5 days away.
100. What did you do last night?
Watched a movie (Cowgirls, see above) and some of SNL. Weekend Update was pretty funny.
Well that's that. If you made it down here, you need to go ask your boss for some more work because damn, son. I can't believe the show I'm not downloading because it's wrong to do that, isn't done yet. I don't want to stay up till 1...
1. What is the last alcoholic beverage you drank?
My roommate and her boyfriend just made me finish off something called "Chardonnay Port".
2. Do you follow college football?
Just gonna ask at random, huh? No real rhyme or reason? Fine: not really.
3. Who took this survey before you?
My sister and a friend.
4. Who was the last person to send you a text message?
The girlfriend. We text so as not to interrupt the televisioning.
5. Last time you went swimming in a pool?
In a pool? Hmm...probably when I went to Santa Cruz a few months ago.
6. Are you happy?
Been better, but I'm not miserable at the moment. That's saying something after the past few weeks.
7. Where was the last place you went shopping?
Where I bought something, Macy's. Needed another suit. Or maybe just the grocery store.
8. How do you feel about your hair?
What a great question. I'm fine with it.
9. Where do you live?
San Francisco, CA
10. Last thing you ate?
A bunch of Oreos.
11. Do you wish you were some place else right now?
I sort of wish it wasn't Sunday night, but otherwise I'm okay.
12. Last time you kissed someone?
A couple hours ago when the aforementioned GF left.
13. Do you have any expensive jewelry?
I hope not. I have a couple rings. I do not think they are expensive.
14. AIM or MSN?
AIM, but not very often.
15. What classes are you taking now?
Classes? I'm still trying to learn Chinese, but no actual classes these days.
16. How many hours on average do you work a week?
Well I bill about 40 hours. I'm at the office about 50+ to make that happen, though.
17. What's your favorite TV show?
Gots to be The Office right now. Stellar. And then probably Lost, but then after that I don't even know.
18. How many kids do you want?
However many I get. But less than like, 10. I don't want to be that guy.
19. Do you watch the Olympics?
Nope. I am firmly in the "Goddamn it, the Olympics again?" category.
20. Sing in the car?
Frequently.
21. Who was the last person to call you?
Girlfriend. Because of the ending of Desperate Housewives. WTF!
22. What's your sign?
Capricorn. Stubborn as a goat.
23. Do you have a favorite number?
No. I cannot believe we're only at 23. Wait, how about 23? No.
24. Last time you did volunteer work or made any donation?
I keep almost donating to NPR. But then not doing so on account of I am super in debt.
25. What do you spend the majority of your money on?
Paying people back. And then rent, and then Starbucks. Damn Starbucks.
26. Where does most of your family live?
Immediate? Virginia, but not by much. Then Michigan.
28. Ever been called a hoe/slut?
Why would somebody call me that? And isn't it "ho"? Strike one, Anonymous Questionnaire Creator.
29. Ever been called a bitch?
Seriously, I'm not a girl. So yes, frequently, but guys.
30. Got any guilty pleasures?
Warcraft. And then probably sleep.
31. Favorite kind of beer?
Bass Ale, I think.
32. Have you ever experienced true love?
I'm not sure. Which probably means no. But not necessarily.
33. Did you ever collect Beanie Babies?
Strike Two, Questionnaire Person. No.
34. Ever bought anything on ebay?
I don't think so, thought today I found a bunch of old G.I. Joes in their original packaging in a thrift store, and I was like "I'm gonna eBay these!" but then I didn't. But I will look it up now and see how that might go.
35. Myspace or Facebook?
Myspace. Facebook is for idiots in college.
36. Yahoo or Gmail?
Gmail. Seriously, Yahoo? Who picks that on purpose?
37. What was your favorite subject in school?
I enjoyed "Communications and the Law". And then pretty much any History class.
38. Do you sometimes wish you were someone else?
If it would make the Student Loan People get off my back, I'd be Hitler.
39. Fall for the bad guys or girls?
Not that I know of. The bad girls don't go for me. So it's never really been an issue.
40. Favorite movie?
I agree with my sister, who basically said this is a stupid question. People who have a "favorite movie", no qualifications necessary, are usually idiots.
41. Last time you saw your parents?
I guess it has been since Christmas. That's alarming though.
42. Do you have any talents?
My thumbs are weird. I'm pretty good at remembering names and birthdays. I can remember a series of 10 digits immediately after hearing them one time. I can fly.
43. Ever been in a wedding?
Yup. Best man to my best bud Jason H.
44. Do you have any children?
Not that I'm aware of.
45. Last movie you watched?
Last night I watched "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues". Wow was that a waste of 102 minutes. But I had just read the book and was curious as to how in the world they'd cinematize it. Short answer: they failed terribly.
By the way, Emily, "I Am Sam" is a stupid movie.
46. Are you missing anyone at the moment?
Sure! Many people.
47. Did you take a nap today?
I don't nap. I gets my sleep at night like a Real Man.
48. What kind of car do you drive?
Acura Integra. I know, I need a new one. Someday.
49. Ever been on a cruise?
Yeah, it was pretty great. Though if I had it to do again, in the same setting (smaller boat, 120+ passengers) I'd go with a significant other (and family, if possible).
50. Favorite vacation spot?
I still think something like the Caribbean would be nice. But I'd really like to see the South Pacific someday.
51. Favorite genre of music?
Rock. Ask a broad, idiotic question, get a blase, useless answer. I cannot believe I'm only half done. On the plus side, this is helping me kill time while I... um... "wait" for The Sopranos.
52. Do you have any hot friends?
Who's asking? Yes.
53. Ever met anyone famous before?
Met, as in spoke to? I don't think so. I know a moderately well-known mixed martial arts ultimate fighting type person, but he is my girlfriend's ex so that may not count. Also "well-known" only if you follow that stuff.
54. Favorite actor?
I like me some John Cusack, about 90% of the time.
55. Favorite Actress?
Zooey Deschanel. She's pretty great. And Natalie Portman, but not because of Star Wars, because yikes.
56. Are you multi-tasking right now?
Nope. Unless you count downloading certain things from certain places because I don't have certain cable channels that play said things on Sunday nights. Ahem.
57. Could you handle being in the military?
Probably parts of it yes, parts of it no. The not questioning orders thing would be my downfall.
58. Are you hungry or thirsty?
A little thirsty, I guess.
59. Favorite fast food restaurant?
You know it's Wendy's, dawg.
60. Favorite Nightclub?
"Nightclub"? The Starlight Lounge. Because, well, I've been there. Which puts it ahead of the other places here in SF.
61. What is your average cell phone bill?
I have no idea. About $40 to $50 I think. It's on auto-pay.
62. Do you own a camera phone?
Yes. It's not bad, actually. Got a great shot from Muir Woods as a background right now.
63. Ever had to take a sobriety test?
Nope. Almost did, this one time at the Harrisonburg Wine Festival (or whatever it was called) but Raf's friend Beth blew first and was fine to drive, so I didn't have to. Ah well. Then, this drunk girl Raf was trying to get with totally started groping me in the car because she thought I was Raf. Good times.
64. Most expensive speeding ticket?
About $90 I believe.
65. Can you speak any other languages?
A wee bit o' French, and I'm learning (slowly) Chinese.
66. Last time you went to the gym & worked out?
At a gym? Literally years. I ran the other day though, down at the beach. Yeah, at the beach. Take that, people-who-live-elsewhere.
67. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Let's see... 2 fancy, 1 semi-good, 1 for running, 1 sandals. Five.
69. Last place you were at?
Yeah, this is an idiotic question. I was "at" the couch and before that "at" my girlfriends and before that "at" the Goodwill.
70. Ever been to Las Vegas?
Yup. Four times, I believe. Not bad, but not entirely my thing. Too poor.
72. Ever been to Mexico for spring break?
Yes. Cancun even. I am not that guy; it was strange, but there were some good tales that came out of it.
73. Have you ever bought a hermit crab?
Why would I do that?
74. Ever deleted a question off of a quiz?
That's not how these go. If you don't like it, you just make fun of it. Or, you know, quit and don't finish.
75. What do you think is your best feature?
Laid-backness. Not a word. Also I'm a pretty hard worker when I want to be.
76. Have you ever been gambling?
I went to Vegas, didn't I? Blackjack is fun.
77. Last show you saw on/off Broadway?
Never seen a show on/off Broadway. Never been to Broadway, for that matter.
78. Ever been deep sea fishing?
Deep lake fishing, yes. But not sea.
79. Do you have your wisdom teeth?
Gone like the dodo.
80. Favorite place to be?
Outside.
81. Have you ever been to New York City?
Can't say that I have. Never really had the opportunity, and now it's 2500+ miles over there ---->.
82. Favorite sit down restaurant?
Not the Olive Garden.
83. Ever been to Disney Land/World?
Yes and yes. Land is a bit small but has a "originality" charm to it. World is sprawling and the attractions a bit more up-to-date and fun.
84. Do you have a favorite cartoon character?
Scruffy the Janitor.
85. Last thing you cooked?
That I cooked? Hot dogs. Microwaving is cooking right?
86. How is the weather today?
A bit breezy but sunny and nice enough to wear a t-shirt.
87. Do you e-mail?
This has got to be the stupidest question I have ever responded to. Yes.
88. Last letter/piece of mail you received besides junk or a bill?
A completely awesome package from my boy Jason, who sent me the entire run of the X-Men comic book series on two DVDs. HELL YEAH.
89. Favorite store?
Can't say that I have one. Is Amazon.com a store?
90. What's your ideal car?
Something small to mid-size, that has good pickup.
91. Last voicemail you received?
Girlfriend. Yesterday. Nothing today.
92. Do you drunk dial?
Nope. Never seemed like a good idea and I'm rarely drunk, to boot.
93. Stupidest thing you ever did with your cell phone?
Um, I dropped it once?
95. Favorite band?
I don't know if I have one right now. I like lots of what's out there these days.
96. Last time you were sick?
I don't get sick. For reals, yo.
97. Do you dance?
What I do, they do not call dancing, because it would be a travesty to put it into words as simple as that. Simply put: I exist, therefore there is music. Wrap your brain around THAT.
98. Last concert you went to?
Haven't the slightest. That saddens me greatly.
99. Ready for the weekend?
Yes. Now I'm even sadder. The weekend is 5 days away.
100. What did you do last night?
Watched a movie (Cowgirls, see above) and some of SNL. Weekend Update was pretty funny.
Well that's that. If you made it down here, you need to go ask your boss for some more work because damn, son. I can't believe the show I'm not downloading because it's wrong to do that, isn't done yet. I don't want to stay up till 1...
October 24, 2006
If My Life Were a Movie, It Would Be an Alan Smithee Film
Saw this at BU's, and figured why not; I like thinking of my life as a soundtrack. It's the same theory as the 20 first-lines (sister just did it here) but with an associated purpose. Some pretty funny results, but no real evidence that iTunes knows what the hell it's talking about.
Opening Credits--One of These Things First - Nick Drake
I'm fairly neutral on this one. Minus points for already being in a major motion picture soundtrack.
Waking Up--Wild Thing - Tone Loc
Actually it was a clip from the Simpsons. But I discounted that for artistic integrity reasons. This one is much cooler, and much cooler than I generally feel when waking up.
First Day of School--Out of Town - Zero 7
Sort of 70s detective show-ish. Strange first day, man.
Prom--Connection - Elastica
Well, this might actually have been played at my Prom, so it's not a bad pick.
Life's Okay--Mission: Impossible Theme (1996 version)
Life is not, apparently, very okay. Mission: Impossible? That's a depressing thought.
Driving--I Want You to Want Me - Cheap Trick
Can't see this one very well. Came in just slightly too soon...
Falling in Love--Free Until They Cut Me Down - Iron & Wine
Also doesn't quite fit, as it isn't sappy enough. Stupid iTunes knows I have better for this category.
Breaking Up--The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly - Theme
Wow. I can't blame her for breaking up with me, what with the tense stand-off and ensuing gun battle. This is probably the best song so far.
Mental Breakdown--November Rain - Guns 'n Roses
From what I remember from the video, this would be better for the Wedding, but only if I want her to get hit by lightning or something. Still, not bad for a reality-detachment montage. At nearly 9 minutes long, my mental is really getting a good breakdown. "Everybody needs some time on their own."
Reconciliation--Runaround Sue - Dion
I don't want to reconciliate with runaround Sue, thanks very much. Whore.
Wedding--Unforgettable - Nat & Natalie Cole
Egads. Amazing pick, I guess, but iTunes sure isn't very original. Every damn wedding in the early 90s played this.
Sex Scene--Magic Man - Heart
Hmmm. Makes me feel like a pederast. At least it wasn't "Magic Carpet Ride".
Birth of Child--No One Knows - Queens of the Stone Age
Sounds like a rough birth. Sorry, dear.
Dance Sequence--Transformers: The Movie - Main Theme
This is not the song from the television show, but rather the completely deranged rock-out song, complete with wailing guitars, that started the movie. It does have a beat, though. Extra points for managing to sneak in the words "Unicron" and "Decepticons" despite the intensely silly result. Seriously, if you haven't had the auditory pleasure of experiencing this song, let me know and I'll send it to you.
Flashback--Nights in White Satin - The Moody Blues
I'm gonna pretend it's not the extended version, just because the creepy monologue messes it up completely. The song itself works ("letters I've written, never meaning to send" etc.) Incidentally, this was my favorite song at some point in my youth. Not something by Bette Midler, as some would have you believe.
Final Battle--Whatcha Want - Beastie Boys
I'm seeing some sort of police raid gone bad. But that's just me.
Death Scene--Airwolf - Main Theme
Now this is just weird. Somehow I always suspected my death would involve Jan Michael-Vincent. I'm probably not alone on that.
Funeral Song--Short Skirt, Long Jacket - Cake
A little late for establishing dating priorities, isn't it? If any of my potential female funeral attendees would do me the honor of attending in a short skirt (long jacket optional), I'm sure I could put in a word for you with the big man upstairs. That is, if I'm upstairs.
Closing Credits--Only Fools Rush In - Elvis Presley
iTunes would have you believe there will be a great deal of second-guessing and whatnot when I shuffle off this mortal coil. Although, "only fools rush in" will probably turn out to be a great explanation of my inevitable ending.
This is actually my second attempt. The first run-through was nonsensical and pretty dumb (aside from putting You're My First, My Last, My Everything by Barry White as the Prom theme; if only my actual Prom had been that awesome) so I tossed it and tried again. This is still nonsensical, but in much funnier ways.
Opening Credits--One of These Things First - Nick Drake
I'm fairly neutral on this one. Minus points for already being in a major motion picture soundtrack.
Waking Up--Wild Thing - Tone Loc
Actually it was a clip from the Simpsons. But I discounted that for artistic integrity reasons. This one is much cooler, and much cooler than I generally feel when waking up.
First Day of School--Out of Town - Zero 7
Sort of 70s detective show-ish. Strange first day, man.
Prom--Connection - Elastica
Well, this might actually have been played at my Prom, so it's not a bad pick.
Life's Okay--Mission: Impossible Theme (1996 version)
Life is not, apparently, very okay. Mission: Impossible? That's a depressing thought.
Driving--I Want You to Want Me - Cheap Trick
Can't see this one very well. Came in just slightly too soon...
Falling in Love--Free Until They Cut Me Down - Iron & Wine
Also doesn't quite fit, as it isn't sappy enough. Stupid iTunes knows I have better for this category.
Breaking Up--The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly - Theme
Wow. I can't blame her for breaking up with me, what with the tense stand-off and ensuing gun battle. This is probably the best song so far.
Mental Breakdown--November Rain - Guns 'n Roses
From what I remember from the video, this would be better for the Wedding, but only if I want her to get hit by lightning or something. Still, not bad for a reality-detachment montage. At nearly 9 minutes long, my mental is really getting a good breakdown. "Everybody needs some time on their own."
Reconciliation--Runaround Sue - Dion
I don't want to reconciliate with runaround Sue, thanks very much. Whore.
Wedding--Unforgettable - Nat & Natalie Cole
Egads. Amazing pick, I guess, but iTunes sure isn't very original. Every damn wedding in the early 90s played this.
Sex Scene--Magic Man - Heart
Hmmm. Makes me feel like a pederast. At least it wasn't "Magic Carpet Ride".
Birth of Child--No One Knows - Queens of the Stone Age
Sounds like a rough birth. Sorry, dear.
Dance Sequence--Transformers: The Movie - Main Theme
This is not the song from the television show, but rather the completely deranged rock-out song, complete with wailing guitars, that started the movie. It does have a beat, though. Extra points for managing to sneak in the words "Unicron" and "Decepticons" despite the intensely silly result. Seriously, if you haven't had the auditory pleasure of experiencing this song, let me know and I'll send it to you.
Flashback--Nights in White Satin - The Moody Blues
I'm gonna pretend it's not the extended version, just because the creepy monologue messes it up completely. The song itself works ("letters I've written, never meaning to send" etc.) Incidentally, this was my favorite song at some point in my youth. Not something by Bette Midler, as some would have you believe.
Final Battle--Whatcha Want - Beastie Boys
I'm seeing some sort of police raid gone bad. But that's just me.
Death Scene--Airwolf - Main Theme
Now this is just weird. Somehow I always suspected my death would involve Jan Michael-Vincent. I'm probably not alone on that.
Funeral Song--Short Skirt, Long Jacket - Cake
A little late for establishing dating priorities, isn't it? If any of my potential female funeral attendees would do me the honor of attending in a short skirt (long jacket optional), I'm sure I could put in a word for you with the big man upstairs. That is, if I'm upstairs.
Closing Credits--Only Fools Rush In - Elvis Presley
iTunes would have you believe there will be a great deal of second-guessing and whatnot when I shuffle off this mortal coil. Although, "only fools rush in" will probably turn out to be a great explanation of my inevitable ending.
This is actually my second attempt. The first run-through was nonsensical and pretty dumb (aside from putting You're My First, My Last, My Everything by Barry White as the Prom theme; if only my actual Prom had been that awesome) so I tossed it and tried again. This is still nonsensical, but in much funnier ways.
September 13, 2006
12 of 12
I thought this was a cool idea last month, but thought so far too late to do anything. So I promised various parties, including myself, that I wouldn't let a cool idea go un-...idea'd again, and that I'd do the September 12 of 12.
Sadly, yesterday was one of the more boring days I've had recently. I'm not just saying that to excuse my poor photography--it really was, as days go, more uneventful than most. And this is coming from someone who knows boring.
Anywho, I did it in Flickr because I like their system. And, boring or not, this blog definitely needs more photos of meaningless crap. Check it out, if you'd like.
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