So Much! Too Much?

Man, I step away for a minute and like, 15 different things happen. Let's get into it.

The King of Pop is dead. Long live the King? There is much gnashing of teeth and hand-wringing about how to "celebrate" the life of such screwball. On the one hand, he made some great music. This is an area in which if you disagree, you are Wrong. Sorry, but while you don't have to like the music (that's called taste) you have to appreciate what MJ put together. I can only somewhat recall, because I was so young, the fervor with which 80s-era kids loved the man. But some of those songs are eternal.

But, he was a whacko. Ultimately, I have no problem expressing remorse at his passing because, despite the messed up life he was leading, death is it. It closes the door on any redemption or the possibility of a turn-around. MJ will never call a press conference and say, "Jesus, I was pretty messed up, wasn't I? I apologize to my fans for so much screwy behavior." And even if such a statement was super unlikely, I can mourn for the lost opportunity. It is a bummer.

Senator Stuart Smalley. Not too much to say about this because Franken should have had this months and months ago; but I'm glad to see the rule of law win out in an election scenario. Coleman may have been a good man before this mess, but his inability to let it go when absolutely nothing was in his favor has lessened my opinion of him quite a bit. I don't know what kind of senator Franken will be, but it will definitely be interesting. 6 years! And away we go.

True Blood is Entertaining. But it got a lot better after the first few episodes. It's really like an adult-themes Twilight, though, which isn't so hot. Because Twilight is horrifically stupid.* But it's still pretty hokey at times, and the characters are teetering right on the edge of being too stupid for words. If Jason Stackhouse ends up sleeping with the preacher's wife, for example, and without clear explanation how it got to that, I'm gonna be pissed.

There is a piss-poor method of character development that hack writers use to establish that someone is "lusted after" or "sexually adventurous." Basically, you have the character meet the eyes of some hot young woman (it's almost always men that need this development) and then immediately cut to them having sex. Californication does this ALL THE TIME, and it's really, really lame. No explanation of how they got to that point, or the woman's motivations for doing so. It's actually a hugely sexist and misogynistic form of character development that feeds the adolescent male fantasy of being an irresistible sex machine. The women don't matter at all; they're just tools to show that this guy is "totally awesome and the chicks can't stay away!!!"

To be fair, Jason Stackhouse has benefited from better writing during his own escapades. He has only had sex with one random chick that I can recall, and that was because he was high on vampire blood. But the show is dangerously close to the "lusty eyes -> immediate sex" cut in his interactions with the preacher's wife, and it makes me wary. The fact that people are "amazed he didn't screw that Christian singer AND the wife by now" (as mentioned in my office) just shows you how close to ridiculousness his character has been.

*I've been told. Have not yet been so bored that I actually need to read those books.

The Tigers Give Me Ulcers. Jesus they win like, 7 straight and then lose a series to Houston? The ASTROS, Detroit? Come on. They're suffering from the same problems that always plague them: power outages at hitting and unreliable closers. If you include the fact that they've only got 2 or 3 reliable starters (and just one really good and reliable pitcher) it's hard to see how they're even in first in the division.

But, they are. Improbably, amazingly, they are 3.5 games ahead of Chicago. They have a chance to win the series with Oakland today (here, in Oakland) but by all objective measures they probably should have swept the lowly, last-place A's. We'll see. I will try and keep the faith.

Oh but did anyone see that Baltimore-Boston game last night? The O's came back from a 10 to 1 deficit to win! I dislike the Orioles most of the time but that's just impressive, especially against Boston.

Needless Update: Apparently blog posting is a jinx. The Tigers are sucking it up and losing 4-1 in the 6th as I write this. Verlander just gave up a homerun to freakin' Jason Giambi, who is batting .195 this year. Pathetic.

The New Draconian Recycling Plan in My Office. We now have 4 different types of trash. It includes Compost and "E-Waste" but me and my juris doctorate cannot figure out where to put the Starbucks cup. I mean, the top is plastic (Mixed-Recycling) but the cup is paper (Compostable?) but the sleeve is cardboard (Recycling?) and there's a slight bit of food still inside.

Seriously, it could not be harder to decipher if it was written by Soviet-era Russian intelligence. Candy wrappers are "Waste" but waxed cardboard cups are "Compostable" but cardboard is "Recycling". The office needs a recycling czar.

Missing the Big Picture

I saw a new (to me) "Mac vs. PC" ad this weekend. The PC decides to use a time machine to travel to the future to see if the "problems" with PCs have been worked out. Of course, when he arrives future PC freezes in mid-greeting. Haha.

First, my PC never freezes. I have three if you count my work computer. I don't know anybody who suffers from this problem, unless they have spyware or other malware on their machine.

Second, I think the Mac guy inadvertently missed a big point in the ad: the PC built a goddamn time-machine. I think the winner, no matter who freezes up or has stability issues, is the company that can TRAVEL THROUGH TIME.

Seriously, Apple. I love my iPhone, and the iPod is great, but you all are some smug assholes. I don't see myself ever buying a Mac, and part of the reason (beyond the exorbitant price and the fact that I don't do any video editing) is that you guys are dicks.

"Ain't nobody got nothing to say about a 40-degree day."

So the big news today (besides that plane thing) is that Stringer Bell is coming to The Office. Well, okay, to be fair he will probably not play Stringer. But everytime I see someone from The Wire show up someplace else, I get a little weirded out.

Like when Marlo showed up on Heroes are started punching the hell outta everybody. That was actually pretty close to what Marlo would've been like had he had a super-power (as well as being a cold-ass sumbitch).

Stringer on The Office, though. I expect to see some good mashups using the dialogue from his Wire scenes where he tries to rally his lieutenants to sell better. Seems like an easy cross.

In other news, I'm halfway through Season 4 of The Wire and it's awesome. You know it is, but I'm just sayin'.

Of Video Games and Morality

I had an interesting discussion the other day on the nature and purpose of Grand Theft Auto. Not the crime, but the video game series.

Briefly put, the argument put forth was that aspects of GTA are repugnant, pointless, and should not be included in the game. Specifically, the infamous "pick up a hooker and then kill her afterward to get your money back" stuff.

Now, that part of GTA has no bearing on the plot of the game itself. Like many things in GTA, it is merely something possible, like running over pedestrians, robbing a store, or otherwise being a ne'er-do-well.

But the point was made, and I have yet to find a strong rebuttal, that such things--being unnecessary to the plot--are merely in the game for sensationalist reasons and serve no value whatsoever.

I tend to agree, I guess, but I remain reluctant to say that such things should be government controlled. That is, I don't believe that any laws or regulations should exist to prevent video game developers from putting in such gameplay devices, except where other laws (such as those relating to child pornography) apply.

Do video games deserve the same non-censorship treatment as other "art" forms? If such a scene existed in a movie, it would be part of an overall plot. If, in the middle of The Godfather, Michael Corleone stopped on the street and beat a hooker to death, and then it was never referenced again, it would be a jarring, screwy moment and would likely lessen the entire impact of an otherwise stellar film.

Unlike other kinds of art, video games force the viewer to take an active role in experiencing the medium. You don't just watch it happen; you participate. The more open-ended a game is--case in point, GTA, where you can run around for days doing nothing but punching pedestrians--the more involvement the actual player has in determining what makes up his/her experience.

So then, while a painting of a beaten prostitute reflects only the viewpoint of the painter in displaying such an event, the inclusion of the same "scene" in a video game is... what? If it's not part of the story, but you can make it part of the story, what responsibility do we then put on the game designer? On the player?

Saying "it's just a video game", by the way, is not an answer. Some of the more recent games to come out have had plots rivaling that of films and (good) TV. At worst, GTA4 would be a solid C+ or B- movie; so it's unfair to dodge the question by crapping on the entire medium.

Heroes: Still Inept

Monday night* saw the too-long season premier of Heroes on NBC. I went off on the show back in November (which ended then because of the writer's strike, if memory serves) saying that it had to get a helluva lot smarter to make watching worth my time.

Well, they may have tried. I'm not sure if show creator Tim Kring actually listened to the legions of people who were simply pissed off at the complete idiocy of the characters, but they seem slightly less stupider than last season.

But that's not saying much. Because wow were they a bunch of morons last year. This year, things seem to be moving at a brisker pace (so far) and the number of pointless speeches has decreased (but not disappeared).

On the other hand, the new characters are annoying. The new "speedster chick" would be fine if her powers made a lick of sense. But Hiro can stop time, he doesn't just slow it down. So how come she freezes like everyone else, but then unfreezes at will?

I've said it before--most notably in my rant against poor Underdog--but it bears repeating: you've got to establish a mythology, and then stick to those rules. If some guy can fly, then he can fly! Don't put him in situations where flight can solve a problem, and then have him not use it!

I will give it another episode, or maybe two, but without a spectacular change in tone and direction, this potentially great show is just a couple weeks away from my "Avoid This Crap" list.

*Also Monday night: How I Met Your Mother returned. It's still funny, though I hope they don't keep this Barney-Robin storyline up for long. I like insane-misogynistic Barney, not polite-cares-about-you Barney.

A Bunch of Songs That I Once Thought Were Great/Deep/Sad, But Got Tired of For Some Reason.

That's a mouthful!*

Angel Eyes - Jeff Healey's hit 1989 love song. The lyrics are pretty stupid and I think it was covered by some Australian chick fairly recently. On the upside, Jeff Healey is blind and therefore marginally cooler than most musicians who name their bands after themselves. But, Bonus Lame Points: it was used in "Road House", and you all know how I feel about that cinema gem.

Lady in Red - When I was a kid (i.e. 12 or 13) I thought this was a hugely poetic. Now, time and a healthy dose of cynicism has made me want to punch Chris deBurgh in the face. Plus, the song doesn't make any sense. Everybody apparently wants to be with this chick, but she wants to be with the singer, who sounds like a completely useless tool. Wait, is she a hooker? Did I miss that subtext?

At Last - Yes, the song played at many (many, many) a wedding. Etta James does it justice (better than Nat King Cole) and the first time I heard it was in a nuptial-less vacuum. I specifically remember thinking, "Wow, people should play this at weddings or something!"

Don't Speak - I was a fan of No Doubt just before they become super famous, and at the time I was embroiled in typically lame high school angst. Before this song got sizable radio airplay, I thought it was powerful and reflected the feelings I had for some girl, who liked my best friend, but he was with somebody else, or something. I'm having trouble recalling the details, which clearly speaks to the weight of the matter. Gigantic Internet-only eye roll.

I Can't Make You Love Me - You know what? I still like this song. I'm not a huge Bonnie Raitt fan, because country music is of course horrible, but I'll make an exception for this. It is, in truth of fact, a good song. Compare it to something like Leann Rimes' "How Do I Live" which is overwrought and insipid.

Breathe (2AM) - I thought this was pretty good when it first came out, and I still have no idea who this Anna Nalick person is, but it was quickly overplayed. It may still be a good song, but it needs a few years of non-rotation before I'll stop Next Track'ing it on the iPod.

The Blower's Daughter - I still think this song is almost over-the-top in its sadness quotient, but then I was on BART and some dude (seriously) had it as his ringtone. The subsequent douchebag-association has been just too powerful to overcome.

I thought this would be a longer list, but I never legitimately liked the other songs I could put on here. I thought of the idea when "All I Wanna Do is Make Love..." came on the radio this morning. But that song is pretty crappy, and I've never liked it. Go figure.

*That's what she said.

It's All About You, Isn't It

I decided to put a stop to the uninterrupted flow of memes, as entertaining as I'm sure they are, in favor of a post that has to do with my actual self.

Unfortunately, I've been too busy lately to have proper rants stored up. Nothing percolates for more than a half hour, because that is my limit or rage-inducing thought.

So you get bullets hyphens because I don't remember how to bullet:

- There is an interesting article on Slate about the de facto moratorium on the death penalty that is currently in place. I won't go into how I loathe capital punishment (short reason: you shouldn't permanently punish when you can never be 100% sure) but it reminded me of a long-ago discussion I had with a couple friends at Kings Dominion (a theme park in Virginia). I don't recall the specifics, except to say that I have to give props to Raf for arguing with both me (now a lawyer!) and his then-girlfriend about the legitimacy of the punishment. And, as it turns out, he was on the right page and we weren't.

- Housing in the Bay Area is very expensive. Overly expensive. $1700 for a 2br in a fairly mediocre part of town (not even in San Francisco proper!) is excessive and insane. People (my good buddy Marek!) have argued with me about whether rent control is a sound plan, and while I realize that the economic reasons are strong, my own anecdotal experience will always keep me a fan of control vs. free market on that one.

- Entertainment Round-Up: Gone Baby Gone is lamely-titled but outstanding. Possibly the best I've seen since Children of Men. Bee Movie was better than expected, probably because my expectations are inverse to the amount of promotion a movie has, and oh dear Jesus. It's quite possible that 30 Rock is supplanting The Office as my very bestest favorite show on television right now; this is not to say The Office is bad--I think it is at about 90% of its game at the moment--but that 30 Rock is just unspeakably great.

- I have no idea what my Thanksgiving plans are. I have promised myself to stop calling it Turkey Day, though. It is a mild joke that has run its course, like "Tar-Jzay" and calling people "Parental Units".

- "That's what she said" is still funny, though I never, ever, remember to say it at the right time. That may actually make me a better person, but I would sacrifice an upstanding for being funnier.

- I was told that the line in last Sunday's Lions/Cardinals game was Arizona by one, and that as a result many, many people bet on the Lions. As a long-time Lions fan, I say: you fools. I could have told you that as soon as they hit 6-2, they would stumble like the mediocre team they are. Don't get me wrong, I support them. I want them to do well. But if wishes were wings, we'd all fly. Kitna cannot do it all. Losing, and losing badly, to Arizona (and let's not forgot how badly they were blown out by their other "losses", quotes because the games were more like forfeits) shows that they are lucky first, and skillful a distant second.

- I got the finger for tailgating the other day. I do not believe it was justified, because although I was indeed tailgating, the guy was going 18 mph in a 30 mph zone. And not just for half a block--for almost a mile. And then he gave ME the finger? What is the thought process there? He's lucky I didn't leap from my car and beat him senseless. It's not like it would have been hard to catch him on foot.

(And before you think or say it, if you are looking for a store, or house, or are otherwise unsure about where to turn or go, the correct answer is to PULL OVER in the wide-open parking area and let the mile-long line of cars go by while you check your directions.

See?

From some random article I saw on the web:

[With regard to Ashlee Simpson's birthday] ...And because he's Pete Wentz, Simpson's boyfriend Pete Wentz eschewed the usual flowers or thoughtful card, and gave her a particularly Wentz-ian gift for her birthday: Common courtesy. From People:

As A gift to Simpson, Wentz vowed to ignore his cell phone for the entire day. "It's a big deal!" Wentz told PEOPLE the next night. "I'm really attached to it."

Except it's not a big deal, you're a douchebag, and people who think this way are pathetic blobs of uselessness.

This Will Interest Maybe One of You

I saw this link (be aware, it is a 6-year-old Atlantic article and is quite long) at the very end of a funny (as always) post by Ms. Smartypants. It's a rather acerbic look at what people consider to be "great modern literature". While it is quite damning in parts, I had to say that I, in large part, agree with the sentiment.

I have only read a few of the books cited -- the author focuses mainly on three types of modern prose and three authors in particular -- but the sentiment struck a chord. Why does "great literature" have to be so densely written and, as is often the case, logically incomprehensible? If you want to wax poetic, there is an entire ocean of writing in which to swim: poetry! Metaphors and colorful descriptions that, while singularly lovely, add nothing to the narrative but allow the author to remind the reader how gifted he or she is at crafting a sentence.

Of course, I am not a literary critic by any means. The last book I started reading was stolen (along with my car, last Friday. God damn it.) but I want to read more, and articles like this one make me feel better about reading "genre" books instead of slogging through something like All the Pretty Horses again. And, as noted above, the article is 6 years old and so may not apply as much to today's literary climate.

Best Ends

Let's just pretend I've apologized profusely for the lack of updates, and then move on to an actual post, eh?

Best Movie Ending: This is a tough one for me, as I have seen a great many movies (984 at last count). But the first one that comes to mind was The Shawshank Redemption. Say what you will about the feasibility of two ex-cons living in a shack in Mexico, but from the moment Andy escapes, to the moment Redd begins his search, I was on the edge of my seat.

Best TV Ending: It seems to me that it's really, really hard to pull of ending a television show well. The format just doesn't lend itself to a non-episodic ending (problem, non-solution, failure of non-solution, realization of actual solution: all in 22 to 43 minutes) and many shows have met their end with decidedly mixed results. The best you can generally hope for is for a few kernels of excellence in an otherwise so-so finale.* The exception (you knew there had to be one) in my opinion is the series finale of The Office (UK version, of course). I won't give it away -- because it's absolutely amazing if you don't know what happens -- but it achieved exactly 100% of what I wanted from that series. Brilliant.

Best Game Ending: Another area that is rife with disappointment. Beyond the "YOU HAVE WON PLAY AGAIN?" of the NES days, even today's whiz-bang games still often lack a real punch at the ending. I'm not terribly well-rounded when it comes to games -- console titles like Resident Evil or Final Fantasy aren't my thing -- but from the many computer games I've played, the Starcraft and Diablo series stands out as pretty well-finished products. Perhaps that's only because the entirety of the storyline was good, and the endings just kept up the excellence.

Best Book Ending: Tough call. I am not as well-read as I'd like, so it's difficult for me to really say. In fact, I'm just going to leave this to the librarians and English majors, and plead ignorance.

Best Life Ending: Trick question. Life doesn't really end, does it? I guess if someone dies while saving 80 nuns and 120 children from certain doom while curing cancer and ending world hunger, that'd be a pretty good ending. Until I do that, however, the story is often better than how it ends, as far as life goes.

*Buffy ended this way; so did Angel. Seinfeld, in my opinion, didn't really even reach the so-so level. MASH probably holds the gold in this category, but since I didn't see it at the time, and thus did not have the emotional connection to the characters, I went with my own personal favorite.