December 19, 2006
The Poker Gods Have Forgiven Me
But on Saturday, the Gods finally let me go. I got good hands (I was dealt an Ace high straight in 5-card!) and managed to come away with more money than I had entered with. At least, I think. It's hard to tell when you play with a big pile of uncounted change.
It was a fun evening, full of surprising hands and excellent pizza. And, above all, a clean slate of gambling karma.
Now it's off to DC and then Michigan for a few (nine) days! I may post while away, but clearly there are no promises.
December 7, 2006
If It Were In The Onion...
It's not so much the workload (out by 2pm on Monday and Friday!), which is eerily similar to my own schedule, but the reaction from the Congresspersons who dislike the plan. I'm not assuming they're all GOP, but that's all the Post quotes (though a Dem Rep from Florida says she has a Brownie troop conflict). Roy Blunt (R-MO) says its a strategy to screw freshman Democrats, but even funnier are Rep. Jack Kingston's (R-GA) thoughts:
"Keeping us up here eats away at families. Marriages suffer. The Democrats could care less about families -- that's what this says."
Oh Jack, you stupid SOB, I'm sorry if you thought being voted into one of the highest positions in the free world would require only a half-hour of your time every 3rd weekend of the month, but it turns out this isn't the National Guard.
But he's right, though. I could care less about his family. Because millions of Americans see their kids and spouses far less often than good ol' Jack Kingston and his ragtag bunch of freeloading representatives. The article also mentions that this year's GOP-led Congress--the 109th--worked for a whopping 103 days (and how many of those were out-at-2pm days?) this year.
But I guess that's fine, what with there being nothing at all to legislate about these days.
November 30, 2006
Can we try TV chemotherapy?
My television, with years of excellent service under her belt, is dying.
I knew she* had a cancer of some sort when white lines began appearing
at the top of the screen when first powered on. But those lines faded
fairly quickly and I hoped they were merely a sign of age.
Sadly, whatever malady afflicts my poor JVC has spread so that now she
has become a defacto editor of all television shows, randomly fading
any given scene to black. While sometimes I appreciate the effort to
spare me further idiocy, the sound remains and after a few seconds,
the picture fades right back in.
This is simply unacceptable when one has The Office and Scrubs to
watch. Fortunately a backup TV exists, but it will not serve us in the
long-term. No, I must look towards the future. I must look towards...
a new television.
Since I'm not technically jobless anymore (lawyer w/clients =
employed, no matter how little he is making), it seems that buying a
TV is probably a wise move. I'm concerned about wasting money on a TV
that is obsolete out of the box (i.e. non-HD, non-digital, etc.) but I
do not have much to spend on such luxuries.
Suggestions are welcome, but mostly I just wanted to share my sadness
at losing a valued member of the household.
*Yes, my television was of the female gender. No, not for any particular reason.
November 21, 2006
Best Ends
Best Movie Ending: This is a tough one for me, as I have seen a great many movies (984 at last count). But the first one that comes to mind was The Shawshank Redemption. Say what you will about the feasibility of two ex-cons living in a shack in Mexico, but from the moment Andy escapes, to the moment Redd begins his search, I was on the edge of my seat.
Best TV Ending: It seems to me that it's really, really hard to pull of ending a television show well. The format just doesn't lend itself to a non-episodic ending (problem, non-solution, failure of non-solution, realization of actual solution: all in 22 to 43 minutes) and many shows have met their end with decidedly mixed results. The best you can generally hope for is for a few kernels of excellence in an otherwise so-so finale.* The exception (you knew there had to be one) in my opinion is the series finale of The Office (UK version, of course). I won't give it away -- because it's absolutely amazing if you don't know what happens -- but it achieved exactly 100% of what I wanted from that series. Brilliant.
Best Game Ending: Another area that is rife with disappointment. Beyond the "YOU HAVE WON PLAY AGAIN?" of the NES days, even today's whiz-bang games still often lack a real punch at the ending. I'm not terribly well-rounded when it comes to games -- console titles like Resident Evil or Final Fantasy aren't my thing -- but from the many computer games I've played, the Starcraft and Diablo series stands out as pretty well-finished products. Perhaps that's only because the entirety of the storyline was good, and the endings just kept up the excellence.
Best Book Ending: Tough call. I am not as well-read as I'd like, so it's difficult for me to really say. In fact, I'm just going to leave this to the librarians and English majors, and plead ignorance.
Best Life Ending: Trick question. Life doesn't really end, does it? I guess if someone dies while saving 80 nuns and 120 children from certain doom while curing cancer and ending world hunger, that'd be a pretty good ending. Until I do that, however, the story is often better than how it ends, as far as life goes.
*Buffy ended this way; so did Angel. Seinfeld, in my opinion, didn't really even reach the so-so level. MASH probably holds the gold in this category, but since I didn't see it at the time, and thus did not have the emotional connection to the characters, I went with my own personal favorite.
November 7, 2006
Obligatory Voting Post
I live in one of the most liberal cities in this hemisphere, a place where my largely progressive vote will most likely be but one in a huge tide of left-leaning ballots, but I'm still voting.
Even if you're the opposite, you should vote as well. I'd rather that some of you thought a little bit harder before you did, and about the right things, so here's a list of what to consider today:
The Iraq War
Government disaster response
Whether your congressman is corrupt
Whether your party supports the corruption
The environment
Your positions on these things don't matter to me. Everyone can disagree. Vote your conscience. But do not vote based on:
John Kerry's inability to read a teleprompter
The gay marriage boogeyman
Anything involving "culture wars"
Fear
These are red herrings. None of them truly matter to the welfare of our country because all are irrelevant to this election, especially that last one. Finally, don't vote based on any ad you've seen on TV, ever. They are all (Democrat and Republican alike) distortions and should be taken about as seriously as you would take voting advice found on the back of a sugar packet.
November 6, 2006
2-0
Turns out, it takes 45 minutes but all the judge asked for was my MUNI pass at the time -- which I gave him -- and the whole thing was dismissed.
Will I remember this 40 years from now, when I sit atop the Supreme Court dispensing justice as a robe-clad modern-day gladiator of the legal arena? Probably not. But it was still fun to win one.
Oh, and I'm 2-0 because I fought a parking ticket in law school and won that, too. For those keeping score.
October 28, 2006
Politicos
I don't mean that politics doesn't matter; in fact, just the opposite. I think when you look at all the things people can obsess over (celebrity, sports, social life) politics is one of the only things that can and will actually change the world. The people we elect are directly responsible for how our society, and our planet, will end up, and yet those who do the electing are so incomprehensibly stupid that it makes me wonder how anything works at all.
Take obsession over celebrities, or sports. I know a number of people (myself include, but to a lesser degree, I hope) who know the latest about every Hollywood person out there. They "vote" with their wallets, but at the end of the day, Hollywood has only an indirect effect, at best, on how people live their lives. Sports is the same; I'm quite disappointed that the Tigers got beat out of the Series like they did (that's a whole 'nother post, even) but does it change the world? It barely changes Detroit.
Then there's politics, where there seems to be no real accountability, and no real thought behind any one particular voter's choices while in the voting booth. People spend hours learning about what stupid-ass thing Paris Hilton did last week, but 5 minutes of actual thought about the Iraq war, or the environment, or just the corruption in general, is apparently too much to ask.
I'm just frustrated, and this is a rant. I've been depressed, politically, since the 2004 election, and I don't want to see the same thing happen here. But I'm smart enough to know that even if my "wildest dreams" come true and the Dems pick up both the house and senate, they're probably too inept to do anything with them.
I'm just one vote, unfortunately. And I can curse and bemoan the voting majority in this country that wants to keep electing the Republican party, but I can't do a single thing about it. None of them even read this blog.
Okay, just in case they do, I'll say this: don't be an asshole. The Republicans have screwed up pretty much every facet of government, and while the Democrats may screw up as well, any of you who put the GOP in power in 2000 and 2004 owe the rest of us the chance to let our own people fix it. If it doesn't work, I'll join you in voting Whig in 2008.
October 24, 2006
If My Life Were a Movie, It Would Be an Alan Smithee Film
Opening Credits--One of These Things First - Nick Drake
I'm fairly neutral on this one. Minus points for already being in a major motion picture soundtrack.
Waking Up--Wild Thing - Tone Loc
Actually it was a clip from the Simpsons. But I discounted that for artistic integrity reasons. This one is much cooler, and much cooler than I generally feel when waking up.
First Day of School--Out of Town - Zero 7
Sort of 70s detective show-ish. Strange first day, man.
Prom--Connection - Elastica
Well, this might actually have been played at my Prom, so it's not a bad pick.
Life's Okay--Mission: Impossible Theme (1996 version)
Life is not, apparently, very okay. Mission: Impossible? That's a depressing thought.
Driving--I Want You to Want Me - Cheap Trick
Can't see this one very well. Came in just slightly too soon...
Falling in Love--Free Until They Cut Me Down - Iron & Wine
Also doesn't quite fit, as it isn't sappy enough. Stupid iTunes knows I have better for this category.
Breaking Up--The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly - Theme
Wow. I can't blame her for breaking up with me, what with the tense stand-off and ensuing gun battle. This is probably the best song so far.
Mental Breakdown--November Rain - Guns 'n Roses
From what I remember from the video, this would be better for the Wedding, but only if I want her to get hit by lightning or something. Still, not bad for a reality-detachment montage. At nearly 9 minutes long, my mental is really getting a good breakdown. "Everybody needs some time on their own."
Reconciliation--Runaround Sue - Dion
I don't want to reconciliate with runaround Sue, thanks very much. Whore.
Wedding--Unforgettable - Nat & Natalie Cole
Egads. Amazing pick, I guess, but iTunes sure isn't very original. Every damn wedding in the early 90s played this.
Sex Scene--Magic Man - Heart
Hmmm. Makes me feel like a pederast. At least it wasn't "Magic Carpet Ride".
Birth of Child--No One Knows - Queens of the Stone Age
Sounds like a rough birth. Sorry, dear.
Dance Sequence--Transformers: The Movie - Main Theme
This is not the song from the television show, but rather the completely deranged rock-out song, complete with wailing guitars, that started the movie. It does have a beat, though. Extra points for managing to sneak in the words "Unicron" and "Decepticons" despite the intensely silly result. Seriously, if you haven't had the auditory pleasure of experiencing this song, let me know and I'll send it to you.
Flashback--Nights in White Satin - The Moody Blues
I'm gonna pretend it's not the extended version, just because the creepy monologue messes it up completely. The song itself works ("letters I've written, never meaning to send" etc.) Incidentally, this was my favorite song at some point in my youth. Not something by Bette Midler, as some would have you believe.
Final Battle--Whatcha Want - Beastie Boys
I'm seeing some sort of police raid gone bad. But that's just me.
Death Scene--Airwolf - Main Theme
Now this is just weird. Somehow I always suspected my death would involve Jan Michael-Vincent. I'm probably not alone on that.
Funeral Song--Short Skirt, Long Jacket - Cake
A little late for establishing dating priorities, isn't it? If any of my potential female funeral attendees would do me the honor of attending in a short skirt (long jacket optional), I'm sure I could put in a word for you with the big man upstairs. That is, if I'm upstairs.
Closing Credits--Only Fools Rush In - Elvis Presley
iTunes would have you believe there will be a great deal of second-guessing and whatnot when I shuffle off this mortal coil. Although, "only fools rush in" will probably turn out to be a great explanation of my inevitable ending.
This is actually my second attempt. The first run-through was nonsensical and pretty dumb (aside from putting You're My First, My Last, My Everything by Barry White as the Prom theme; if only my actual Prom had been that awesome) so I tossed it and tried again. This is still nonsensical, but in much funnier ways.