"Crazyladysayswhat?""What?""Exactly."

Disclaimer: if you're my parents or a prude, you might not want to read this. Fair enough warning.

So I perused the gossip blogs the other day (and thank god for them, because it lets me hide my secret non-manly shame in the anonymity of the Internet) and I saw this choice quote from the current queen of outright weird, Sharon Stone:

Young people talk to me about what to do if they're being pressed for sex? I tell them (what I believe): oral sex is a hundred times safer than vaginal or anal sex. If you're in a situation where you cannot get out of sex, offer a blow job. I'm not embarrassed to tell them."

Um. First of all, if you're "in a situation where you cannot get out of sex" you don't offer alternatives. You call the fucking police because you're being raped. Second of all, I'm pretty sure that Sharon Stone is neither a medical doctor nor competent to give her opinion on which color is her favorite, much less on what sexual techniques are safest.

I know this has probably been beaten into the ground (see the aforementioned gossip blogs) but I'm more confused than anything else; is she just nuts? Was she trying to be funny? Do people actually think any of this is true?

Because this is my blog and, as such, I get to offer free and unsolicited advice to the masses, here's a little something to counteract the absolute insanity above:
-Don't give blowjobs to anybody you wouldn't want to sleep with.
-Don't have oral sex, period, unless you're in a relationship with the person.
-Sleeping with lots of people does not make you a better or more liked person. It just means you've slept with lots of people.
-Do not equate your ability to get someone into bed to your worth as a person. The two are at best unrelated, and at worst, inversely proportional to one another.

Bit of a prude myself? Perhaps. But Sharon Stone went and put me off sex for at least 2 days. If that doesn't sound like much, remember that I'm a guy. It's about 47 hours and 59* minutes longer than I usually refrain from thinking about it.

*58 if I've been knocked unconscious