Enough With the Substance

Blah blah "I Am Legend" blah "scary movie instincts". Blah. Time for some good old-fashioned meme porn.

1. Do you ever bite your lip?
Yes? I don't notice.

2. Do you have pictures on your walls?
Not in my office. And... not at home. Yet. I'm lazy.

3. Have you ever seen anyone picking their nose?
Of course. Children do it without a care in the world.

4. Do you like country music?
Nope. Except the soulful ballads by countryish singers. Is Kim Richey country?

5. How do you peel your orange?
In big chunks.

6. Do you like bananas?
Yes. They're especially good in Cheerios.

7. Could things be better in your life at the moment?
Can't they always?

8. Have you ever tried to put a huge puzzle together?
All the time, in ages past. It's what the family does during holidays.

9. Have you ever been drunk?
What? Of course not. I'm a teetotaler.

10. Did you ever try to cut yourself?
I dislike blood, especially my own. And I'm not that desperate for attention.

11. Do you like clowns?
I am not scared of them, but otherwise I could go either way.

12. Have you seen the movie Jaws?
Yes. And Jaws 2.

13. How do you feel about show offs?
I love them! Seriously, what is the range of answers expected here?

14. Do you go to the library?
Not since law school.

15. Are you excited for back to school?
This question is both chronlogically outdated (it's December!) and personally inapplicable (no school!).

16. Whats your favorite type of energy drink?
I don't drink "energy drinks". I like the red Vitamin Water though.

17. What do you put on your hamburger?
Everything. Don't really like onions though.

18. Do you wish you were older?
I will be older in... 16 days.

19. Do you wish you had magical powers?
Magical? Not really. Sounds like a lot of arcane studying.

20. If so, what powers?
I'm still a fan of immortality. Yeah, I've seen the Twilight Zone and Outer Limits, I'm aware of the drawbacks. I'm still interested.

21. Do you eat teddy grahams?
Isn't that a cereal? No.

22. Does anyone hate you?
I hope not.

23. What is your favorite color of eyeliner?
This is a chick meme, isn't it.

24. Have you ever believed in fairies?
It is. Damn it.

25. Has a butterfly ever landed on your finger?
I massacred hundreds of them while driving through Arizona one time. It was awesome. Take that, you wussy question.

26. Do you have your nose pierced?
That would go over poorly in court.

27. Do you know how to multiply?
As in, "Go forth and multiply"? Because yeah baby, I sho' do.

28. Do you know how to divide?
I hate long division.

29. What was the first school you attended?
Fairview Elementary.

30. What is your favorite number?
I don't have one. Six?

31. Would you rather have braces or glasses?
Braces suck, man. Glasses all the way.

32. What did you have for lunch?
Haven't had lunch yet.

33. Who is/are your best friend(s?)
Good question. It varies.

34. Have you ever seen Coronation street?
I do not know what this means.

35. Are you missing anyone right now?
Sure.

36. Who?
Oh aren't you clever with your follow-up questions. Well I am declining to answer on advice of counsel.

37. Do you have a job?
Yup.

38. Where do you work?
A law firm. Pays the bills!

39.Have you ever stolen something before?
Yes.

40. What was it?
Online stuff. Nothing from the "real world" though.

POST-SCRIPT: These questions started out with promise but rapidly became stupid. Maybe there are no good memes left. Maybe I will have no choice but to make thoughtful, substantive posts about life from here on out.

Oh nevermind, I forgot about the marginally illiterate rants!